Learning to Socialize with Your Boss and Workers

Socialize Successfully With Your Boss and Employees

During the twenty-three years I spent in management, there were many occasions when I participated in social events with my employees. Likewise, I attended parties where my supervisors were present.

By participating in hundreds of receptions, dinners, celebrations, award ceremonies, fund raising campaign kickoffs and other out of the office happenings, I have learned which communication behaviors work and which ones backfire.

You will agree that, handled wisely, social time with employees can boost morale. Employees welcome chances to get to know the boss as a person, not just a manager. During the frenetic work week, they encounter the boss as the source of discipline, assignments, occasional reprimands and, typically, very little personal chit chat. So it's refreshing to be around the supervisor when she showcases her humor, asks about your family and hobbies, and gives an unrestrained laugh.

However, both employees and bosses should be aware that the social scene does not erase the workplace lines of authority. Example: Because the boss likes your personality at a party does not mean you will get the next promotion, which depends instead on your professional skills.

Here are seven guidelines that every employer and employee should keep in mind for after-hours mingling:

ONE: Avoid off color humor. The jokes you would tell your golf buddies could jeopardize your professional reputation if you share them with workplace colleagues, no matter how informal the setting. True, they might laugh out of courtesy, or maybe from discomfort. Yet you risk losing their respect. Play safe. Don't tell any joke that you wouldn't tell at an office staff meeting.

TWO: Refrain from touching, other than a handshake greeting, unless you happen to go dancing with the group. Draping an arm around a colleague might prompt an eventual lawsuit, especially when you don't give that person an expected raise. And the employee who caresses the boss can create an image of fakery and pandering.

THREE: Drink moderately. Every year, holiday parties, company picnics and similar outings become career graveyards for bosses and employees who want to become "the life of the party."

Sometimes we assume that two more drinks will help us talk more easily. That's a mistake. Two more drinks will encourage you to talk more--period. The impaired speaking and unsteady walk that follow those extra cocktails could brand you: "lush," "a drunk," "undisciplined," or something similar.

Along those lines, never mention that drinking is important to you. Stay away from "Nothing like a stiff drink at the end of the day to help a guy unwind." Whimsically, we slip into comments like that, such as "Thought that bartender would never bring our order." Although you are trying to inject a bit of levity into the conversation, the quips could backfire, categorizing you as a problem drinker.

FOUR: Make sure you circulate among everyone present, not just the managerial group you feel most comfortable with. The person who talks with his or her clique and avoids everyone else nullifies the inclusive good will the event is intended to foster. Spend time with line employees as well as "the suits."

FIVE: Avoid shop talk. Demonstrate that you have an interesting, meaningful life away from the corporation. Nobody wants to hear your opinions about a five year plan, a drop in sales or the employee you had to fire. As an old song advises, "talk happy talk, things that people like to hear."

Stay well informed about major sporting events, releases of new movies, great places to vacation, new restaurants your friends have recommended, bestselling books and national events. Definitely, party goers want to talk about them, not corporate problems and plans.

SIX: Listen attentively. Good listeners become our favorite people. We move away from motormouths who dominate conversations. Encourage others to talk, with comments like "very interesting," "tell me more," and "What happened next?" When Stephen Covey wrote 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, he titled chapter five, "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood." Follow that advice, and you'll become the hit of the company's social outing.

SEVEN: Mind your manners. If the occasion includes a meal, pay special attention to your table etiquette. You want to look like you belong at top-tier banquets. Illustrate that you have acquired polish and grace.

Bill Lampton, Ph.D., helps organizations “Finish in First Place” by strengthening their communication, motivation, sales, and customer service. His speeches, seminars, and communication coaching have benefited numerous clients, including the Ritz-Carlton Cancun, Gillette, Duracell, Procter & Gamble, Missouri Bar, and the Environmental Protection Agency. Visit his Web site to sign up for his complimentary monthly E-mail newsletter: http://www.championshipcommunication.com/ Call Dr. Lampton to discuss how his services will benefit your organization: 770-534-3425.

Achieve More Using Smart Goals

Set SMART Goals to Achieve More


Personal Training Self Help Basics

Are you having trouble achieving your goals, or getting through a period of no success? Then take the time to learn how to set SMART goals. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Tangible.

Specific
Setting specific goals is the key to all sorts of success. Most folks know the story about the 1954 Harvard class where they measured those who made goals and those who did not. Each time they grouped the goal-oriented graduates into smaller and smaller groups: those who made goals every now and then, on a yearly basis, and on a monthly, weekly or daily basis, each subset of individuals ended up making more money, having free time and far more happiness than the others.

And guess what? The no-goal folks were left out in the cold and achieved almost nothing in comparison to those who set goals.

Measurable
The more measurable something is, the easier it is to see if we've achieved, or not achieved, the desired outcome. If you're vague in your goals, and don't have a way to measure it, how will you know you've achieved it? You won't, it's that simple. So make sure your goal can be measured, and you're done with step 2.

Attainable
When you set goals that are the most important to you, you will find a way to make them happen. That's a fact! You begin to find things that fit in with your goals, you develop a positive attitude, you work to develop new skills and abilities, and you somehow find the financial capacity to achieve them. You think of all the opportunities that you've left unanswered and you uncover new opportunities to help you achieve your goal.

You can do almost anything when you plan out the steps necessary to reach the goal, and set the time frame that holds you accountable to that goal. Things that never before were possible now are not only possible but are in fact probably, because you've learned and grown to match these tough goals. Listing your goals helps you feel better about yourself, as you learn to see yourself worthy enough to achieve these goals, that you deserve these goals, and you reach these goals!

Realistic
Do you want to aim for something you'll never reach, or for something that is within your power? Remember, you have to be willing and able to do something, so make sure you're realistic in your goal setting. You definitely want to stretch and not set something you could do without effort, but if you know that there is absolutely no way you can physically run a 4 minute mile because you have arthritis, then don't make that your goal. Now keep in mind that with the Internet, e-mail, and the globalization of the marketplace that you can achieve more than you ever thought possible, there still may be things that just aren't possible. Don't set these as goals, set these as dreams, and point towards those. But set the attainable goals so you can get satisfaction from achieving more and more of your goals.

Tangible
A goal is tangible when you can experience it with one of your five senses. That means if you can can taste it, touch it, smell it, see it or hear it. When your goal is tangible, or when you tie an tangible goal to a intangible goal, you have a better chance of making it specific and measurable and thus see it as more attainable to you.

So be SMART about your goal setting, read a book or 2 about goal settings, have others help you be more accountable to yourself for achieving these goals, and you will do more and be more than you ever dreamed possible!

Phil Gerbyshak leads a team as manager of an IT Help Desk in Milwaukee, WI, and finds that sharing his knowledge is a crucial component for in his success as a leader and as a person. Phil's personal philosophy is paraphrased from Tim Sanders' fantastic book Love is the Killer App: "Share your knowledge, your network, and your love. The rest will follow."

Feel free to contact Phil at http://makeitgreat.org or call 414.640.7445 anytime. To check out his frequently updated blog, check out http://makeitgreat.blogspot.com

Indiana Jones Getting What He Wants

Goal Setting Secrets of the Real Life Indiana Jones
Remember when you were 15? Can you recall some of the dreams you had then? How many have you accomplished?
My reflection on that is what attracted me so strongly to the story of John Goddard, of whom the LA Times called, "The real life Indiana Jones," and one of his expeditions, "the most amazing adventure of this generation."
When he was 15, Goddard was inspired to create a list of 127 “life goals” (he called it “My Life List”). By his last count, the young seventy-something has accomplished 111 of these PLUS 400 others he set along the way!!
Here’s just a few of the ones he’s reached:
He’s climbed many of the world’s major peaks including the Matterhorn, Ararat, Kilimanjaro, Fiji, Rainier and the Grand Tetons.
He followed Marco Polo’s route through all of the Middle East, Asia and China.
He’s run a mile in five minutes, broad jumped 15 feet, high jumped five feet and performed 200 sit-ups and 20 pull-ups.
He was the first person to explore the 4200-mile length of the world's longest river, the Nile. (It was the number one goal of the 15-year-old Goddard and the one the Times called “the most amazing adventure of this generation.”). He has also been down the Amazon, Congo and others.
John has been to 122 countries, lived with 260 different tribal groups, explored the underwater reefs of Florida, the Great Barrier Reef in Australia, the Red Sea, and more.
He has flown 40 different types of aircraft and still holds civilian air records; has read the Bible cover to cover and learned to speak French, Spanish and Arabic.
The last two on his original list included marrying and having children (he has six) and living to see the 21st Century, which he has done in style.
And I’m just getting started. But I think you get the point.
More than just one of the greatest adventurers the world has ever known, Goddard is an incredibly wise person, as this quote of his demonstrates: "If you really know what you want out of life, it's amazing how opportunities will come to enable you to carry them out."
How did John Goddard manage to live such an incredible life of achievement? Two simple, easily duplicatable “secrets:” He chose BIG dreams and he WROTE THEM DOWN.
There’s no power at all in small dreams. When the dream isn’t big enough, it’s too easy to give in to the obstacles that appear in our life. It’s very difficult to maintain the persistence that all great achievement requires when the dream is small or ordinary.
Harland Sanders was 65-years-old, with little more than a $105 Social Security payment in his pocket, when he started Kentucky Fried Chicken. He is said to have been rejected by over 1,000 banks before he became successful. If he hadn’t had a big dream his self-esteem could never have withstood such rejection.
One of the biggest dreamers in the world is Mark Victor Hansen. Working with his partner, Jack Canfield, their idea was rejected by 140 book publishers as “unsellable.” Today, their Chicken Soup series includes more than 70 titles that have sold more than 90 million copies in 39 languages. Mark says, “The more goals you set - the more goals you get. Think big, act big and set out to accomplish big results. ”
Not only must your dreaming and goal setting be big, but it must be in writing. Brian Tracy says that this act alone increases your odds of success by 1000%! Like many people, I’d heard that I should write my goals down, but like most people, I rarely did. Looking at Brian’s formula another way, the failure to write your goals and dreams down means that you’ve got less than a 1-in-10 chance of succeeding. Can it be any wonder then that most people don’t live their dreams?
Who knows where your life can go after it is driven by life goals. You may find yourself landing on the moon someday, which happens to be one of the few original dreams that John Goddard hasn’t realized.
Whatever you dreams may be, when you're doing your goal setting, make them BIG and WRITE THEM DOWN! Don’t be like the chap in this poem that Napoleon Hill included in the original edition of Think and Grow Rich:
"I bargained with Life for a penny, And Life would pay no more, However I begged at evening When I counted my scanty store. For Life is a just employer, He gives you what you ask, But once you have set the wages, Why, you must bear the task. I worked for a menial’s hire, Only to learn, dismayed, That any wage I had asked of Life, Life would have willingly paid."
Copyright © 2004 Vic Johnson
Vic Johnson is a popular motivational speaker, author and Internet Infopreneur who has created some of the most visited personal development sites on the Web. His flagship site AsAManThinketh.net has given away over 200,000 eBook copies of James Allen’s classic. He is co-author of "Goals 2004," and "Goals 2005" which are found at http://www.Goals2005.com

Kriya yoga has found a place in some people

Kriya Yoga And The Nature Of The Journey
Kriya yoga has found a place in some people who are looking for a deeper, more spiritual relationship with their lives. It is a kundalini oriented yoga and meditation technique, that also teaches certain spiritual and esoteric principles. Unfortunately, like many similar "spiritual" power structures, it teaches you that essentially your power lies outside of yourself - that is, that you need a 'guru', or 'master' to access your own innate spirituality.

Kriya yoga has some aims which sound both appealing and promising. They aim to eliminate "obstructions" and "obstacles" from the mind and body. Point of view is a very interesting thing here, however. Because what is an obstacle or obstruction to one person, may not be to another. This assumes a very interesting light in reference to power structures and belief systems, and highlights why it is important to maintain your own self sovereignty in mind and action.
Kriya yoga was brought to the West by Yogananda in the 1920's. He established the Self-Realization Fellowship as a 'total yoga' system that tried to address spiritual as well as physical aspects of self.

Kriya yoga is derived mainly from three other yoga techniques - karma yoga, bhakti yoga, and Jnana yoga. Karma yoga focuses on the movement of the soul both inside and outside of the mind. Jnana yoga focuses on wisdom, allowing the mind freedom. Bhakti yoga focuses on love, as it allows you to come to terms with everything around you. The aim in combining them was to "purify" the mind and soul, and proponents of kriya yoga believe they can achieve self realization more quickly this way than following the other disciplines.

Kriya Preparation

The first step in Kriya is to 'prepare' your body, and that is done in one of a couple of ways. For many, Hatha yoga is the perfect preparation exercise. For others, though, who may not be as flexible, alternatives are provided.

Breathing stance is very important for a jogger

When you are jogging there are several breathing techniques that you should keep in mind. Breathing can increase your jogging performance and the way you feel. You should not be breathing heavy when jogging or be unable to talk. This means that you are breathing in an incorrect way.When you are jogging you should be breathing through your nose. When you breath through your nose you are essentially taking in more oxygen. If you breath through your mouth while jogging this will cause you to breath heavier and to feel more exhausted.

Many coaches will instruct you that if you are becoming out of breath when you jog or if you are breathing heavy then you are probably breathing the wrong way. Joggers should breath through their nose and take long deep breaths. This means that you are receiving an optimal amount of oxygen.Besides breathing stance is very important for a jogger. If a jogger holds their arm too high then this can cause a jogger to have a poorer time. Many joggers like to run a certain amount of distance in a certain time. If you hold your arms up and close to your body this will cause you to have a poorer time. When you jog you should breath through your nose and your arms should hang down around your sides. Your body stance should be comfortable while you jog. There are several websites that have downloadable jogging tips that deal with posture and breathing techniques.If you are too out of breath then you may want to take it easy on your jog as you build yup your endurance and cardiovascular system. If you have questions about the right way to breath while jogging there are dozens of professional coaches that will be willing to answer all of your questions.

Many of these coaches have websites. Some charge money for advice and others offer free advice. When you are jogging every coach will tell you that you should be enjoying yourself.Jogging is a different type of exercise that is not only about becoming healthier but it is about having fun. Jogging is a fun activity that should give you a lot of pleasure at the end or beginning of the day. If you are breathing too heavy or out of breath this may cause you to become discouraged or frustrated while jogging. Enjoy yourself and your exercise program.

Creative Visualization Ideas

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Yoga is an exercise which uses poses that work your body and increase flexibility

Yoga Retreats To Find Your Inner Self
Yoga retreats are basically places that you can go to get away and to practice yoga while you do so. There are so many different benefits that you can gain from doing yoga, and so before you even consider the matter of yoga retreats, you should learn about all of these different benefits.
The Benefits Of YogaThere are numerous different benefits that you receive from participating in this exercise, and for one, you increase your flexibility. Yoga is an exercise which uses poses that work your body and increase flexibility in your muscles and limbs, and this includes joints that are never really on the radar screen let alone exercised.As well, you get a complete detoxification with yoga exercise, as by gently stretching the muscles and joints as well as massaging the various organs, yoga thus is able to ensure the most optimum blood supply to various parts of the body, and this helps incredibly in the flushing out of toxins from every nook and cranny of your body.Yoga Retreats What You Should Know About ThemYoga retreats are great because they are basically just like a yoga class in a gym or studio for instance, only they are typically located in more rural areas, so that there is silence and no business or other typical city issues.Yoga retreats are so fantastic because they help the yoga process overall; it is one which helps to relax and soothe the mind, body and soul, and so being out in the middle of nowhere helps this incredibly. The freedom and solitude that you experience in one of these retreats is going to be able to help you while you do your yoga, and you will immediately notice differences in yourself.If you are interested in going to one of these retreats, then all you really need to do is speak to your current yoga instructor or gym teacher and ask them if they have ever heard anything about this. If not, then you can always do research on your own, because there is sure to be at least one of these retreats located somewhere in your area.
Regardless of whether you actually end up going to a retreat or not, as long as you participate in the yoga exercise, you are going to be reaping plenty of rewards, both physically and mentally, and it is definitely going to be an exercise that you are going to want to incorporate with for the rest of your life.
By: Ann Marier -
Ann Marier writes informative articles on general health issues providing helpful tips and advice. Her latest articles about the benefits of yoga including lossing weight from yoga.