Learning to Socialize with Your Boss and Workers

Socialize Successfully With Your Boss and Employees

During the twenty-three years I spent in management, there were many occasions when I participated in social events with my employees. Likewise, I attended parties where my supervisors were present.

By participating in hundreds of receptions, dinners, celebrations, award ceremonies, fund raising campaign kickoffs and other out of the office happenings, I have learned which communication behaviors work and which ones backfire.

You will agree that, handled wisely, social time with employees can boost morale. Employees welcome chances to get to know the boss as a person, not just a manager. During the frenetic work week, they encounter the boss as the source of discipline, assignments, occasional reprimands and, typically, very little personal chit chat. So it's refreshing to be around the supervisor when she showcases her humor, asks about your family and hobbies, and gives an unrestrained laugh.

However, both employees and bosses should be aware that the social scene does not erase the workplace lines of authority. Example: Because the boss likes your personality at a party does not mean you will get the next promotion, which depends instead on your professional skills.

Here are seven guidelines that every employer and employee should keep in mind for after-hours mingling:

ONE: Avoid off color humor. The jokes you would tell your golf buddies could jeopardize your professional reputation if you share them with workplace colleagues, no matter how informal the setting. True, they might laugh out of courtesy, or maybe from discomfort. Yet you risk losing their respect. Play safe. Don't tell any joke that you wouldn't tell at an office staff meeting.

TWO: Refrain from touching, other than a handshake greeting, unless you happen to go dancing with the group. Draping an arm around a colleague might prompt an eventual lawsuit, especially when you don't give that person an expected raise. And the employee who caresses the boss can create an image of fakery and pandering.

THREE: Drink moderately. Every year, holiday parties, company picnics and similar outings become career graveyards for bosses and employees who want to become "the life of the party."

Sometimes we assume that two more drinks will help us talk more easily. That's a mistake. Two more drinks will encourage you to talk more--period. The impaired speaking and unsteady walk that follow those extra cocktails could brand you: "lush," "a drunk," "undisciplined," or something similar.

Along those lines, never mention that drinking is important to you. Stay away from "Nothing like a stiff drink at the end of the day to help a guy unwind." Whimsically, we slip into comments like that, such as "Thought that bartender would never bring our order." Although you are trying to inject a bit of levity into the conversation, the quips could backfire, categorizing you as a problem drinker.

FOUR: Make sure you circulate among everyone present, not just the managerial group you feel most comfortable with. The person who talks with his or her clique and avoids everyone else nullifies the inclusive good will the event is intended to foster. Spend time with line employees as well as "the suits."

FIVE: Avoid shop talk. Demonstrate that you have an interesting, meaningful life away from the corporation. Nobody wants to hear your opinions about a five year plan, a drop in sales or the employee you had to fire. As an old song advises, "talk happy talk, things that people like to hear."

Stay well informed about major sporting events, releases of new movies, great places to vacation, new restaurants your friends have recommended, bestselling books and national events. Definitely, party goers want to talk about them, not corporate problems and plans.

SIX: Listen attentively. Good listeners become our favorite people. We move away from motormouths who dominate conversations. Encourage others to talk, with comments like "very interesting," "tell me more," and "What happened next?" When Stephen Covey wrote 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, he titled chapter five, "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood." Follow that advice, and you'll become the hit of the company's social outing.

SEVEN: Mind your manners. If the occasion includes a meal, pay special attention to your table etiquette. You want to look like you belong at top-tier banquets. Illustrate that you have acquired polish and grace.

Bill Lampton, Ph.D., helps organizations “Finish in First Place” by strengthening their communication, motivation, sales, and customer service. His speeches, seminars, and communication coaching have benefited numerous clients, including the Ritz-Carlton Cancun, Gillette, Duracell, Procter & Gamble, Missouri Bar, and the Environmental Protection Agency. Visit his Web site to sign up for his complimentary monthly E-mail newsletter: http://www.championshipcommunication.com/ Call Dr. Lampton to discuss how his services will benefit your organization: 770-534-3425.

Achieve More Using Smart Goals

Set SMART Goals to Achieve More


Personal Training Self Help Basics

Are you having trouble achieving your goals, or getting through a period of no success? Then take the time to learn how to set SMART goals. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Tangible.

Specific
Setting specific goals is the key to all sorts of success. Most folks know the story about the 1954 Harvard class where they measured those who made goals and those who did not. Each time they grouped the goal-oriented graduates into smaller and smaller groups: those who made goals every now and then, on a yearly basis, and on a monthly, weekly or daily basis, each subset of individuals ended up making more money, having free time and far more happiness than the others.

And guess what? The no-goal folks were left out in the cold and achieved almost nothing in comparison to those who set goals.

Measurable
The more measurable something is, the easier it is to see if we've achieved, or not achieved, the desired outcome. If you're vague in your goals, and don't have a way to measure it, how will you know you've achieved it? You won't, it's that simple. So make sure your goal can be measured, and you're done with step 2.

Attainable
When you set goals that are the most important to you, you will find a way to make them happen. That's a fact! You begin to find things that fit in with your goals, you develop a positive attitude, you work to develop new skills and abilities, and you somehow find the financial capacity to achieve them. You think of all the opportunities that you've left unanswered and you uncover new opportunities to help you achieve your goal.

You can do almost anything when you plan out the steps necessary to reach the goal, and set the time frame that holds you accountable to that goal. Things that never before were possible now are not only possible but are in fact probably, because you've learned and grown to match these tough goals. Listing your goals helps you feel better about yourself, as you learn to see yourself worthy enough to achieve these goals, that you deserve these goals, and you reach these goals!

Realistic
Do you want to aim for something you'll never reach, or for something that is within your power? Remember, you have to be willing and able to do something, so make sure you're realistic in your goal setting. You definitely want to stretch and not set something you could do without effort, but if you know that there is absolutely no way you can physically run a 4 minute mile because you have arthritis, then don't make that your goal. Now keep in mind that with the Internet, e-mail, and the globalization of the marketplace that you can achieve more than you ever thought possible, there still may be things that just aren't possible. Don't set these as goals, set these as dreams, and point towards those. But set the attainable goals so you can get satisfaction from achieving more and more of your goals.

Tangible
A goal is tangible when you can experience it with one of your five senses. That means if you can can taste it, touch it, smell it, see it or hear it. When your goal is tangible, or when you tie an tangible goal to a intangible goal, you have a better chance of making it specific and measurable and thus see it as more attainable to you.

So be SMART about your goal setting, read a book or 2 about goal settings, have others help you be more accountable to yourself for achieving these goals, and you will do more and be more than you ever dreamed possible!

Phil Gerbyshak leads a team as manager of an IT Help Desk in Milwaukee, WI, and finds that sharing his knowledge is a crucial component for in his success as a leader and as a person. Phil's personal philosophy is paraphrased from Tim Sanders' fantastic book Love is the Killer App: "Share your knowledge, your network, and your love. The rest will follow."

Feel free to contact Phil at http://makeitgreat.org or call 414.640.7445 anytime. To check out his frequently updated blog, check out http://makeitgreat.blogspot.com

Indiana Jones Getting What He Wants

Goal Setting Secrets of the Real Life Indiana Jones
Remember when you were 15? Can you recall some of the dreams you had then? How many have you accomplished?
My reflection on that is what attracted me so strongly to the story of John Goddard, of whom the LA Times called, "The real life Indiana Jones," and one of his expeditions, "the most amazing adventure of this generation."
When he was 15, Goddard was inspired to create a list of 127 “life goals” (he called it “My Life List”). By his last count, the young seventy-something has accomplished 111 of these PLUS 400 others he set along the way!!
Here’s just a few of the ones he’s reached:
He’s climbed many of the world’s major peaks including the Matterhorn, Ararat, Kilimanjaro, Fiji, Rainier and the Grand Tetons.
He followed Marco Polo’s route through all of the Middle East, Asia and China.
He’s run a mile in five minutes, broad jumped 15 feet, high jumped five feet and performed 200 sit-ups and 20 pull-ups.
He was the first person to explore the 4200-mile length of the world's longest river, the Nile. (It was the number one goal of the 15-year-old Goddard and the one the Times called “the most amazing adventure of this generation.”). He has also been down the Amazon, Congo and others.
John has been to 122 countries, lived with 260 different tribal groups, explored the underwater reefs of Florida, the Great Barrier Reef in Australia, the Red Sea, and more.
He has flown 40 different types of aircraft and still holds civilian air records; has read the Bible cover to cover and learned to speak French, Spanish and Arabic.
The last two on his original list included marrying and having children (he has six) and living to see the 21st Century, which he has done in style.
And I’m just getting started. But I think you get the point.
More than just one of the greatest adventurers the world has ever known, Goddard is an incredibly wise person, as this quote of his demonstrates: "If you really know what you want out of life, it's amazing how opportunities will come to enable you to carry them out."
How did John Goddard manage to live such an incredible life of achievement? Two simple, easily duplicatable “secrets:” He chose BIG dreams and he WROTE THEM DOWN.
There’s no power at all in small dreams. When the dream isn’t big enough, it’s too easy to give in to the obstacles that appear in our life. It’s very difficult to maintain the persistence that all great achievement requires when the dream is small or ordinary.
Harland Sanders was 65-years-old, with little more than a $105 Social Security payment in his pocket, when he started Kentucky Fried Chicken. He is said to have been rejected by over 1,000 banks before he became successful. If he hadn’t had a big dream his self-esteem could never have withstood such rejection.
One of the biggest dreamers in the world is Mark Victor Hansen. Working with his partner, Jack Canfield, their idea was rejected by 140 book publishers as “unsellable.” Today, their Chicken Soup series includes more than 70 titles that have sold more than 90 million copies in 39 languages. Mark says, “The more goals you set - the more goals you get. Think big, act big and set out to accomplish big results. ”
Not only must your dreaming and goal setting be big, but it must be in writing. Brian Tracy says that this act alone increases your odds of success by 1000%! Like many people, I’d heard that I should write my goals down, but like most people, I rarely did. Looking at Brian’s formula another way, the failure to write your goals and dreams down means that you’ve got less than a 1-in-10 chance of succeeding. Can it be any wonder then that most people don’t live their dreams?
Who knows where your life can go after it is driven by life goals. You may find yourself landing on the moon someday, which happens to be one of the few original dreams that John Goddard hasn’t realized.
Whatever you dreams may be, when you're doing your goal setting, make them BIG and WRITE THEM DOWN! Don’t be like the chap in this poem that Napoleon Hill included in the original edition of Think and Grow Rich:
"I bargained with Life for a penny, And Life would pay no more, However I begged at evening When I counted my scanty store. For Life is a just employer, He gives you what you ask, But once you have set the wages, Why, you must bear the task. I worked for a menial’s hire, Only to learn, dismayed, That any wage I had asked of Life, Life would have willingly paid."
Copyright © 2004 Vic Johnson
Vic Johnson is a popular motivational speaker, author and Internet Infopreneur who has created some of the most visited personal development sites on the Web. His flagship site AsAManThinketh.net has given away over 200,000 eBook copies of James Allen’s classic. He is co-author of "Goals 2004," and "Goals 2005" which are found at http://www.Goals2005.com