Finding My Courage

I have spent 2008 finding me! I have gotten a newappreciationfor the links betweenprosperity,success, authenticityandspirituality.I am exploring and finding parts of me that I didn't know existed. I am sharing otherparts of me that I thought might be valuable butwere way under-appreciated.The parts that I didn't know existed were hidden because I spent a lot of my energy hiding out. I didn't show up for people who loved and cared about me or that I loved and cared about. I didn't appreciatemyself because I was afraid that ifthey knew, I mean really knew, who I was, therewould be no way thatthey couldlove me.

I was literally petrified. If you had seen me speak to groups when Istarted my company, you would haveseen in my eyes and on my facehow scared I was to put myself out there. I would read the words that I had written from the paper in front of me. I would barely look up and when I did, I did not connect. I was totally unconscious in that moment ofthe genuine caring people around me becauseI was tied up inknots from the story I had running in my head. "Why would anyonein the audience want to know me? Surely they don't. I'm not enough. These people are looking for more."

As I have ventured out intomy unknown territory, Ihave shared ona bigstagesome painful memories. Once I talked of myvery strained and unhappyrelationshipto my father. Italked about the strength that I gatheredfrom facing the truth about who he was and who he had helped me to become.People came up to me afterward and shared that they had related to my story and that it had given them strength. They said that their circumstances were challenging too and they, too, were lettingtheir challengeshold them back. They were amazed at my courage... AT MY COURAGE... I was blown away! They knew about one of mydeep dark secret and they loved me anyway.

My sister, Lynne, tells me that part ofthe jobof our parentswas to unconsciously woundus aschildren so thatwe couldgain strength from our trials and tribulations. All I know is thatI haven't found anyone yet who is not broken or wounded in some way.When I finally agreed to face my fears, I found out that the fear monster did not exist. I found out that I loved sharing with people and helping them to become their magnificence. I learned that people accepted me and loved me despite and becauseIwasbroken and wounded. I also found out that life will surprise you if you get out of the way and let it.

As Founder of Kinesis Development LLC, Kathie Bobbitt builds potential and high performance in conscious leaders and their organizations through our seminars, workshops, personal and group coaching. The Kinesis Development processes include entrepreneurial and executive coaching and strategic planning, optimized process improvement and time strategies. She has a passion for building women as leaders in their lives and in their businesses.