Simply Asking for Success

If I could only give one piece of negotiating advice to anyone then undoubtedly that piece of advice would be a simple three letter word:

“Ask.”

This simple word is the most powerful tool that you can use to maximize your success with others. Why is that? Simply because the biggest hurdle that we often face throughout our life comes from our own fear of rejection. We create our own internal roadblocks for success in the form of self-doubt and limiting beliefs. We often convince ourselves that we won’t get something, even before we ask it, because of some consideration that we create in our minds.

Human beings are motivated by two simple forces, according to peak performance expert, Anthony Robbins, (1) We try to get as far away from pain as possible, and (2) We are attracted to that which gives us pleasure. Rejection is embarrassing and it hurts our ego, hence it is painful, so we try to get as far away from rejection as possible by choosing the safe route and walking the other way. We justify walking away from a rejection by telling ourselves that if someone wanted us to have something, they would offer it to us.

The flaw in this thinking is that we do not know why a person might not offer us something. There is always a chance for rejection, but there is also a chance in acceptance. If we do not express that which we desire in the form of asking, then others will not know what we truly want. For example, a girl may not wake up thinking about going out on a date with you. Neither does your boss wake up thinking about your next raise. What is very important to you and your life, may not be apparent to the other person until you bring it to their attention.

Why you Shouldn’t Fear Rejection

Jack Canfield in his book, The Principles of Success, gives a good reason why we should not fear rejection. He says that rejection is merely an illusion because if you really look at the situation, what have you truly lost when being rejected? The answer is nothing. If you ask a girl out on a date and she says “No,” then instead of focusing on your hurt ego, realize that you did not have a date with the girl before you asked her out and you don’t have a date with her now, so really what has changed? Absolutely nothing--and think about it. You have lived your entire life without dating this girl, so you know how to deal with it. Simple move on to the next girl and play the numbers game. Eventually, someone will say YES. That’s what life is—a numbers game.

If you Don’t Ask, you will Never Receive

Opportunities float past us daily and it’s the ability of highly successful people to ask for things that they want to seize as many opportunities as possible. When you want something, simple ask for it. This is a little saying that I leave my students—“If you don’t ask, then you absolutely will not receive. If you do ask, then there is a chance that you might receive.” Either way, you stand to lose nothing by asking, so just do it.

For over 10 years, Tristan Loo has inspired, motivated, and brought success to the lives of the people he’s touched. Successful in his own right, Tristan has competed athletically against Olympians as a world-class gymnast, saved lives as a police officer, authored numerous Personal Development and Interpersonal Communication books and articles, and is a highly sought-after Personal Development Coach. Tristan is the founder of the Synergy Institute, a San Diego based Personal Development Firm. His philosophy of passionate living and helping others fulfill their dreams has continually been the driving force that has placed him well above the industry standard. Visit Tristan's website at http://www.synergyinstituteonline.com or by email at info@synergyinstituteonline.com