Hope is Action - Self Help Tips

I am going to talk about a forgotten necessity of your life. With daily stress, financial obligations, and competition you get to neglect the most important thing in life, YOU. Your self is so important that it is the only source of happiness, and success in your life, the world, and the universe. How can you ignore it?

Yourself is Dignity, Responsibility, Courage, Love, Action, and Power.

I am talking to adults that care about themselves, enjoy their present, and have a vision of their future, however they are entangled with surrounding negativity, global crisis, and personal obligations. They are hoping for things to change and improve by itself, so they can proceed toward their goals. Let me tell you that your hope is a wishful thinking. It is just a word you say to comfort yourself, not an inner feeling.

Hope, optimism, motivation, and self confidence comes from within yourself. It becomes active and rewarding only with action.

First you must make a choice to be aware of who you are based on your creation, not on psychological loops. Then you take action toward positive change of yourself and therefore to succeed in all perspectives of your life.

You have to BE before you are able to DO

Ask yourself "what do I have to lose to function at my maximum potential?" Nothing, you have nothing to lose, and all to gain. And your only cost is your will. "Why settle for less than your significant complete creation?"

I was so frustrated with everyone around me complaining about economy, marriage, and relationships. And I had to repeat the same words again and again, that you are the source of whatever is happening in your life, your job is yourself, when you change, everything around will too. I chose to positively channel my frustration with taking action toward a change. I have put together a coaching program that will guide you to explore yourself to become a master of your existence, and a leader of your life, through understanding the greatness of your creation.

I am going to work with you, everyday to get you back to who you really are, a complete human, with a mind, a heart, and a body. To transfer your wishful thinking to reality of happiness and success in all aspects of your life.

To claim your program "Hope is Action" go to http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs009/1102313419702/archive/1102366204153.html

Rola Jabri is a founder and president of MAOC Studio Inc. As a marketing consultant, and trainer she ventured in different venues with entrepreneurs to reach out to individuals as they are the source of any positive change in the world.

Copyright 2008 Hope is Action. The name and content of this article may not be copied, published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of MAOC Studio Inc.

Writing Or Evil Influence

The Latte' Factor - Never Too Late to Learn to Save (Even With Pocket Change)

In my early adulthood, when I was finally able to afford, at least some of the things I wanted and/or needed, I became a big fan of frivolous spending. I had to have that new issue of Esquire, that personal trainer at the gym (not just the gym), an office in a better location, a more trendy breed of dog or cat, live in a nicer neighborhood, and, of course, later, "My morning Starbuck's". I "had arrived". The "American Dream"...or so it seemed, for awhile.

I am not proud of having been a male version of Madonna's "Material Girl", but I was young, in my thirties and early forties, and was naive enough to believe that peer pressure at least ended after high school, and certainly after college. Not so. It became worse. If my friends bought a better house, I sure better call my Realtor immediately. They got a Lexus, time for a Mercedes. It all seemed like fun and games and, in fact that is all it was. A proverbial game of "show off".

Then came the 1994 Northridge Earthquake. Within twenty minutes, all that I had acquired as a material consumer was gone. And insurance didn't come close to covering my collectibles, antique furniture, family albums/videos, memorabilia from as far back as kindergarten, etc. I was left with my car, and a few boxes of clothes, and a one year old golden retriever puppy named Otis who saved my life (barked wildly before the earthquake), I thought to go out to do his business, but to alert me at 5 a.m to get out of harm's way.

Fifteen years have passed and I learned something I never had before, and never thought I might learn. It is called "humility". Please do not confuse humility with sainthood, far from it. Rebuilding one's life from scratch midlife, after "having it all" teaches a few lessons, and, I am certain I am not

unique in this situation. When I say "having it all'; I don't mean the Forbes 400. I mean whatever I wanted, I could generally afford it.

At least I had my health. For awhile. But then that went too for a number of years. This was a motivating factor in my going back to college as an adult, and reading voraciously when not in college, visiting the library often.

One of the most interesting books I ever read was not within the genre of books I usually consume. The book is titled "Start Late, Finish Rich" by David Bach. In it, he talks at length about something called "The Latte' Factor". Strange name I know, but it describes how the American consumer is taught from birth to consume all he/she can in this material world, that life is short, get it while you can, carpe diem, etc.

Then he calmly suggests ways to counteract that. Do we really need that magazine subscription, must we have a latte' and bagel each morning at Starbuck's. Do we have to even buy his own book if its available at the library. Must we have a car that is made to "show off"when a pre-owned Honda, Saturn, etc. does the trick. I have a wonderful eight year old 4-door Saturn now and it rides better than my old fancy German car ever did. Better gas and reliability as well.

When you add it all up, just the small non-necessities, that we don't need, or, in the case of Starbuck's could make coffee at home with flavored creamer for pennies and a bagel for a quarter, nix the magazines, etc. We are talking saving anywhere from $800-2000 or more a month. If that is put into an IRA, even if you are in your fifties now, you will be wealthy by the time you are of retirement age.

Gifts need not be expensive. He recommends memorable personalized gifts that people see daily and enjoy and think of you when they see or use them.

He recommends losing the credit cards and paying as you go, cash, check and/or debit card. I began doing that, and noticed a huge difference in my extra cash at the end of the month. I never used to budget. I do so now.

There is much more to the book, but the bottom line is that The Latte' Factor need no longer be a part of our lives. Yes, at first it seems strange and a little boring, but it is a self behavior modification in which, once done, we never go back. And we are happier and more prosperous in the long run for it.

Rick London is a cartoonist, freelance writer, and e-tailer, and was founder of the Internet's top-ranked award-winning London's Times Cartoons which is known to feature the Funniest Cartoons On The Internet and owns a number of critically-acclaimed e-shops featuring his images on funny gifts He offers personalization for $2 and most gifts are in the $15 range.

Can You Change Your Life

Unbelievable High School Inspiration Video

What a great inspirational story about a young man on a high school basketball team. Sometimes it's not all about what you think

Check out one of his recommended books, You Can Have It All

Greg is currently working on a self help library filled with great subjects on a wide array of topics, like religion, self help and spiritual changes in the world. His views on religious freedom are slowly changing the way people think about institutional religion.

Small Things Lead To Change
Amazing Sai Baba

Weight Loss Motivation Secrets

Weight Loss Motivation Secrets and Subliminal Weight Loss

Does this sound like you?

Decide to lose weight
Set a goal of how much to lose
Start new diet
Lose a few pounds
Feel really good
Have a small treat because you've done so well
Feel bad about the small treat
Promise yourself you'll start again
Start again
Give up

Weight loss is not easy. Anyone who has ever struggled with weight knows that. You know that. But it is possible.

When you first start a new weight loss regime you will be excited at the prospect of losing weight. Excited about getting back into shape, maybe buying some new clothes. You might even be excited about the new diet plan you've found that everyone is talking about.

Good intentions only take you so far and weight loss motivation is no different.

You already know how it works. Something happens that breaks your new resolve and it's one step forward and two steps back. Maybe you go out with friends from the office for a meal - you can't avoid it. Maybe you have a bad day at work and just need that familiar comfort feeling.

Whatever it is, willpower alone is not enough to keep you doing what you know you need to do to lose weight. And once you've broken the diet, you know as well as all the other dieters out there that it's really, really hard to get back into it properly.

It's very frustrating, especially if you've been through this routine before. Does it mean you lack willpower? No. Do you lack discipline? No.

What it means is that you may need some help to focus your mind on the right thing. The right thing to focus on is gaining a trim, slim vibrant body. Once you focus on that your mind takes over and knows how to achieve it. Once you give your mind the right instructions you start to move towards what you want, instead of away from what you don't want.

Most people trying to lose weight are concentrating on the negative aspects. In other words they think about what they can't eat anymore. Ever heard a dieter say "I'm not allowed that"? Ever said it yourself?

It's very easy for most of us to concentrate on the negative side of things, instead of the positive, but there are ways to change that.

You know how positive you generally feel when you first start on a new weight loss program? Well supposing you felt like that all the time. Can you imagine how much more likely you are to be successful?

Subliminal messages can give you the edge to make that change. Powerful and easy to use, subliminal messages can help keep you motivated and enthusiastic about your positive lifestyle changes.

Use what works for you. For some people it might be audio subliminal messages and for others it might be subliminal message software that works all the time you are using your computer.

One thing is sure, if you think about it, you already know that what defeats you when you're trying to lose weight is not the food. It's your mind giving in to the temptations in front of you. Change your mind and you can change your life.

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For a free report with more weight loss motivation secrets, visit easiest-weight-loss-ever.com

Is King Solomon Going To Heaven

Avoiding the Health Risks of Anger

Well, you should have thought about that first!

The womans voice was loud, too loud for the restaurant. We were trying to enjoy a relaxing meal when the argument erupted a few tables over- a couple in open disagreement.

I didnt want to think about it, he shouted at her.
By now my meal was loosing its flavor, disrupted by the unpleasant outbursts projected from across the room.

Its called anger. We all know it. Weve all experienced it. For some of us it happens rarely. Others dip into its dark shadows daily. But did you know that anger isnt just emotionally damaging?

Its true. Anger can do more than upset us emotionally. Anger can have deleterious effects on our physical bodies. It can actually produce heart disease and keep us from having a healthy heart.

Sound far-fetched? It shouldnt. Medical science has known about the harmful effects of anger for hundreds of years, but only lately have physicians been recommending people address their anger.

Dr. Kirk Laman, a board certified cardiologist, with a special interest in heart disease prevention suggests that we look at anger just as we look at other risk factors for heart disease.

Anger is a powerful emotion. If left unchecked it can actually cause a heart attack, said Dr. Laman. All of us are aware of the traditional risk factors for heart disease- smoking, high cholesterol, diabetes, and high blood pressure. Yet, recently the American Heart Association has recognized that emotional issues can also place us at risk for developing heart problems.

Numerous medical studies have cited anger as a cause of heart trouble. In the medical journal, Circulation (October 1995) anger was shown to precede and actually trigger a heart attack.

In the article they studied 1623 men and women, evaluating the amount and timing of anger in the peoples lives. These researchers were able to find a direct relationship between having anger and developing a heart attack.

In another study on anger (Circulation, May 2000), 12,986 people who carried more anger were twice as likely to have a heart attack, die, or need angioplasty or bypass surgery when compared to people who were less angry.

Indeed, anger isnt just an emotional issue. It truly can be harmful to our health.

What can we do about anger? Well, the first thing is to become more aware of when we are having anger. We can do this by becoming more aware of our hearts in general. We can also begin thinking more about stress reduction.

One useful thing to do is to set aside 20 minutes each evening for reflection. Journaling can also be helpful. Reflect how your heart felt throughout your day. Were you upset, frustrated? Just by spending time reflecting, you can begin to conquer the harmful feelings that over take your heart.

If youre someone who is angry a great deal seek professional help. Find a psychotherapist or counselor and begin developing the skills needed for creating a more healthy heart.

Anger is a risk, but you can avoid suffering from debilitating heart disease.

Kirk Laman, D.O., F.A.C.C. is a cardiologist, author, and public speaker. His unique message, How Heart Centered Living is the Key to Health and Well Being captivates and motivates audiences to improve their lives.

Dr. Kirk Laman is a board certified cardiologist with a special interest in preventative cardiology. Dr. Laman has written for the Detroit News, Medical Economics, as well as Lansings, Healthy and Fit magazine. He has been interviewed on ABC, NBC, and PBS television in Michigan. His book, How to Heal Your Broken Heart- A Cardiologists Secrets for Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Health: http://www.drlaman.com/book.html published by Advantage Press. In the book Dr. Kirk Laman offers readers a simple and easy way to begin the process of healing the psychological and emotions issues that trouble their hearts.

Dr. Laman is also an avid public speaker. He brings his twenty years of practical experience as a cardiologist and healer/pastor to the table as he offers useful lessons in heart felt living. Developing a deep connection with others in one of the key skills for success.

Water Damage Mold

Breaking Through Obstacles With Chop Sticks

I remember accompanying a friend of mine to a workshop and taking part in a little demonstration. We were put in teams of two. One person held a disposable wooden chopstick firmly in front of them, with one end of the chopstick in one hand, the other end in the other. Their partner took a business card and was instructed to break the chop stick with the business card.

As soon as this little game was explained I had a powerful thought. "I'm going to break that chopstick on my first try." I don't know what made me feel so confident, but I just knew I was going to do it. Now mind you, I'm not particularly strong or fast. However, I was feeling particularly powerful and wanted to prove to my friend - and myself - that I could do whatever I set my mind to do.

My partner, Andrea, chose to go first. She whacked away with her business card until it was a pulpy mush. Other people whacked and smacked and swiped to no avail. It took a while, but eventually one person broke the chopstick. Then another and another succeeded. Now it was my turn. I took the card and made a bold swipe. The stick instantly broke in two. Andrea looked at me in disbelief. I just smiled. I did exactly what I imagined I would do.

I wish I could tell you that I'm always so successful. It's not that I (and you) are not capable of these little (and big) victories in life. We are. But little nagging voices of self doubt come marching in like ants to a picnic. Those old, sad stories of how we aren't good enough, or smart enough, or talented enough tug at our self confidence and stop our efforts before we start. I have heard these nagging doubts referred to as "your evil twin" mocking any attempt at success.

You can't tell other people to shut up (not safely anyway) but you can tell your evil twin to take a hike. And you should - as often as the little creep whispers nasty nothings in your ear. As long as you believe these sad stories, they will continue to have power over you. Make it a practice to rewrite your life's script and choose to believe the winning moments of your life as your model. Our actions are the direct result of what we believe we can do.

Robert Collier once said: "Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives."

The proof of this is illustrated as my little story continues. I went home and repeated the chopstick demonstration to my 14-year-old daughter, Brittany. I got out a pair of chopsticks and a business card and tried to replicate my earlier success. There is something a little intimidating about a teenager's disbelief and mocking smile. I took the business card and swiped it against the chopstick. It didn't break. I took a moment and thought about my plight. What was different? It only took a second. A little self doubt had crept in. I paused, took a deep breath, mustered up the power I knew I had within me WHACK!. The chopstick broke in two. Brittany was amazed. I was proud and relieved.

So what is the moral of this story? If we believe in our personal power, rather than focusing on our failures, we can be heroes in our own life story. So, don't just sit there reading. Go out there and do something amazing. Chop, chop.

Sally Marks

Coauthor of upcoming book, Erase Negativity and Embrace the Magic Within. Check out her blog at http://www.erasenegativity.blogspot.com

Starting Your Own Religion

Spiritual Journal Writing Video

This can make a difference in your life.

Question Your Religion

You are free to copy this article to your site as long as you include the following resource information with an active link to my site:

Greg Vanden Berge is a published author, internet marketing expert, motivational inspiration to millions of people all over the world and is sharing some of his wisdom with experts in the fields of writing,marketing, and personal development.

Greg is currently working on a motivation help library filled with great subjects on a wide array of topics, like religion, self help and spiritual changes in the world. His views on religious freedom are slowly changing the way people think about institutional religion.

Chakras Book Review
Power Of Intension

One Personal and One Professional Goal For 2009

Good bye 2008. It is over and it is gone. Only what we did in this year remain, as a witness for this great year that have slipped away from us. The year which made us jump with joy, made us take crucial step's and decisions of our life and spent a life we always wished to live. Lot of happiness and achievements, and it is time to tell a fair well good bye to 2008, and whole heartedly welcome 2009 to our life.

Welcome 2009. As fresh as it could be. A new year to go for our life ambitions. Life passions. A new year to see our dreams being fulfilled. A new year to achieve the impossible. A new year to bring out the best out of us, and make it the best life we ever had in our life.

Life Resolution New Year resolution is part of our rituals for January 1. However, study shows that 95% of those who make new year resolution fail to keep them up for more than 2-3 weeks. Today I want to ask you not to keep a New Year resolution, but a Life Resolution. We are going to pick 2 Life Goals for 2009 - one from our personal life and one from our professional life, and go through a life journey to achieve them. This is the first installment of power article's in sijith.com and the whole 2009 will be dedicated to article's in achieving these life goals we are going to set today.

Let us pick the best two goals for 2009 that would make 2009 the best year for us ever.

One important point here: You commit one thing to me. "I am going to allocate a weekly quota for these goals and commit that I will not take any other personal/professional goal, unless my primary goal quota is complete."

Question ? What if I have two goals in each category.

Answer: It is perfectly fine to have two or more goals for each category. BUT, you should make one of them as primary for each category, and other's as secondary. You are going to work towards the secondary goals, only if your weekly quota for these goals is achieved.

Personal goal 2009:

I want you to do an exercise here. Take a paper/pen. Write down one personal goal that if you achieve will totally change the way you live. It could be something as small as mending a broken relationship, or could be something big, say changing your dietary habit or come out of a bad habit or improving your financial life or learning a foreign language. Just one goal - not more nor less. Just one personal goal, that could change your life and turn your dream into a reality. This goal could be also a spiritual goal or any goal that would improve your inner/personal life.

Now that you have this ONE personal goal written down, I want you to do the second step.

Write down 5 steps that if you do one at a time, you will achieve the above goal. Let me explain you with an example.

Imagine your goal is: "To learn a new foreign language".

So here is how, I would break down the goal into 5 steps. (For each person, the steps would be different. Identifying what works for YOU is the most important part here).

Sub Goal 1: Join an institute teaching this foreign language.

Sub Goal 2: Decide on a syllabus for 2009 that if I complete them, would reach my target.

Sub Goal 3: Buy/Get the required books/resources that I am going to use for this goal.

Sub Goal 4: Decide how much hours/time I am going to spent every week for this goal.

Sub Goal 5: Commit to stick with my goal and constantly check my goal progress.

Professional goal 2009:

Now let us come to a professional goal. This is a goal that would make a real real positive impact on your professional life. This is THAT goal if you achieve, would change your professional career life, and achieve what you always dreamt in your life in your career.

I want you to write this down. How you are going to achieve them is not important here. What you want to achieve is important here.

Here is an example of a professional goal:

"I improve my communication and interpersonal skills"

Sub Goal 1: Join a toastmaster's club and start a public speaking course.

Sub Goal 2: Work with a professional mentor to identify the area's of improvement.

Sub Goal 3: Spent sometime every day for exercise. Join yoga classes or a gym.

Sub Goal 4: If you look to become a manager, work towards achieving managerial skills/qualification. Like improving relationships, increasing personal contacts, etc.

Sub Goal 5: Proactively invest time in one project that would make a difference and help me towards my life goals. (This is a quadrant 2 activity and we will cover about four quadrants of time management in one of the future article).

The above goal/sub goals is just shown for an example. You can choose them based what you want in your life, and how best you want to use 2009. Here is a criteria for choosing your goals : "It is the ONE goal that would change my life, make 2009 the best year ever I had, and take me closer to achieve my life dreams."

Let's can take our time, and work towards our goals. Let us bring out the best out of us. Let us go for to achieve the impossible and get want you dreamt in your life. Believe me, you are in the process of changing your life, and changing the life of people's aroundyou, and let us be excited that we are in the process to make 2009 the best year ever we had in our life.

Wish you all the best and New Year greetings to all the readers.

I maintain my personal success blog website http://www.sijith.com, and you can visit this website to read more success articles.

Sijith Salim

Goal Planning For Success

5 Tips For Handling Conflict

If you live long enough you will experience conflict. The chance that everyone will like us or get along with us is very minimal. Inevitably we will disagree with someone. When this happens, handling the conflict with a level head avoids stress and keeps the chance of the conflict escalating less likely.

Handling conflict does not have to be confrontational in the classic sense. When someone mentions an altercation we think of the showdown at the OK Corral. Coming into the meeting ready to fight is not the best way to handle a conflict.

Conflicts can occur at any time. You could be in a grocery store and the cashier may act rude as they ring up your groceries. We've all had that happen at least once, right? The first reaction is to slam the money on the counter or to snap back at them. In that instant we have taken their problems as our own and created a stressful situation that changes the tone of the rest of our day.

Here are five tips for handling conflict. They work for coworkers, family members, friends, and even strangers. You never know when the proper response to a conflict could save your life or someone else's.

1. Think about the situation. We are quick to respond when someone says what we don't like. Take the time to breathe before responding. In that breath replay the words spoken.

2. Make the hard decision. In many cases, the conflict that arises is not the first of its kind. Harsh or offensive words or deeds could be a recurring theme in the relationship. Decide if this affiliation is worth saving or if it is time to cut the person loose. Leaving the association could result in a lost friendship, a divorce, or changing jobs. Sometimes, for our own sake, these things are better in the long run than staying in a bad relationship.

3. Wait a day. Don't respond right then. Give yourself time to talk over the situation with a trusted friend. Maybe you overreacted. Sometimes, a third party can see something that you missed in the heat of your anger. In these cases, apologize where necessary. If the consensus is that you were wronged, then bring the matter to the attention of the other person with a level head not a hot one.

4. Find a solution. A common conflict, especially among spouses could result from wanting to make a purchase that there isn't enough money for. Instead of brooding, come up with favorable solutions that could get you what you want or need. Get a second job to earn the money.

5. Apologize if you were in the wrong. Just because something is true doesn't mean that it has to be said. Telling someone that they are wearing a dress that is too small for them is not a positive way to help them lose weight. Understand how it could be offensive to them and apologize. Better yet, stop and think before you respond in situations such as these. Put yourself in the other person's shoes before hand. Part of resolving conflicts is realizing our role in it.
Facing confrontational situations is not easy. But, it is not inevitable and sometimes it has to be done. Learning conflict resolution techniques can alleviate the stress of these situations.

Gregg Zban is a General Manager with Coca-Cola Enterprises and has created a website dedicated to better time management in business, with family, at school and more.

To learn more please visit http://www.choice-time-management.com

For freebies please visit http://www.GreggZban.com

Laws Of Attraction In Action

The Purpose of Dreams

Dreams have been somewhat of a mystery to man for a long time. Dreams hold many captive at night wondering if it is reality or simply the imagination working overtime. We have all awoke from dreams upset that it wasnt reality and on the same hand, we have woke up thanking God that a terrible nightmare wasnt a reality.

There are many different theories about the meaning, origin, or purpose of dreams. Some believe that dreams are an extension of our subconscious. In other words, we may dream about things that we think about, whether we are aware of our subconscious thoughts or not. Others believe that dreams are a part of REM or Rapid Eye Movement sleep, which helps to restore our minds and bodies while we sleep. Finally, some people believe that dreams are one mode of communication that God uses to send us messages.

I believe that there is some truth to each of these theories of dreams, but I will focus on the theory about God using dreams as a mode of communication with us and what I believe his purpose in communicating with us through dreams is. Although I do believe that God communicates with us through dreams, I dont believe that every dream that we have is from God or even God attempting to communicate with us. Since I believe that some dreams are from God and others arent, this poses the question, How do you know which dreams are from God and which ones arent?. This is a difficult question to answer because there is no scientific answer to this question. My answer to this question is that you will know in your spirit. In other words, the inner voice will say this dream meant something.

Your spirit may even be troubled when you wake up like Nebuchednezzar was in the Bible after he had a dream from God. In the Bible, in Daniel 2:1, it says Nebuchednezzar had dreams; his mind was troubled and he could not sleep. I believe that this was his spirit communicating to him that there was a message in the dreams for him and maybe others. Also, in the Bible, in the book of Daniel 7:15, Daniel states that after having a dream, that he was troubled in spirit and the visions that passed through his mind disturbed him. When I have had dreams that I believe are from God, the same thing has happened to me when I have awoken from a dream from God. I usually will first remember the dream or many parts of it very vividly. Next, I feel unsettled in my spirit, as if something needs to be resolved or settled.

After establishing that God does in fact, communicate with us through our dreams just as he did with Daniel and Nebuchednezzar, and Joseph in their dreams, you may have been wondering why. Why would God choose to communicate with us through our dreams? I believe that God has 6 purposes for communicating to us through our dreams and it is up to us along with our communication with the Holy Spirit to discern which purpose he has for communication with us.

The first purpose that I believe God uses dreams for is to call us to pray or intercede for ourselves and/or others. Sometimes God gives us dreams to call on us to pray about a situation or for a person. If we have a dream about someone or something that we know is not positive, even if we dont know the interpretation of the dream, we can pray and intercede about the situation or for the individual(s). Prayer changes things, so if we are obedient, we can change someones outcome for the better.

The second purpose for our dreams may be to warn us. God may want to warn us about a direction we are headed in or a decision that we are about to make that may be outside of his will and that may lead to destruction. In the Bible, in the book of Daniel, chapter 4, God gave Nebuchednezzar a dream to warn him. King Nebuchednezzar was warned in his dream, that if he didnt acknowledge that God is more powerful than man and things, his power and riches would be taken away from him. Nebuchednezzars warning was to acknowledge and turn to God or lose his earthly privileges. Having this dream and having it interpreted by Daniel, a Godly man, gave Nebuchednezzar the opportunity to take action to avoid disaster and calamity in his life. God gives us this same opportunity if we heed and are obedient to God.

The third purpose for God give us dreams is to give us hope. The Bible says in the Book of Proverbs 13:12 that "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." You may be experiencing a dark time in your life and you may be tempted to throw in the towel and give up. God may give you a dream to show you the light that lies ahead and to give you hope in your future. Having a visual image of a dream that he births in us gives us the opportunity to think about and hold onto that vision when things arent going the way we hoped or planned.

The fourth purpose for dreams is to encourage us and encourage others. This goes along with hope, but it may be a bit more subtle. God may want us to share a positive dream with the person we dreamed about to encourage them, or he may just want to encourage us that he is with us and hasnt forsaken us.

The fifth purpose may be to give us confirmation about something that he has either already tried to communicate to us either through our spirit or through someone else. Also, if we asked God for confirmation for something, he may give it to us through our dreams.

Finally, I believe that God communicates with us through our dreams sometimes to let us know that he is God. It is hard to forget or disbelieve in the power of God when he is using something like dreams to communicate with people and ordinary people like Daniel and I to interpret dreams.

If you believe that God has been communicating to you through your dreams, do the following : 1. Pay close attention to them; 2. Write them down in a dream journal as soon as you wake up from the dream, so that you capture all of the important details; 3. Obey his instructions and heed to his warnings, in other words, pray for yourself and others immediately when he calls on you, act when he gives you confirmations that require action, always hold onto hope, and always give God all of the Glory!

If you are interested in having a dream interpreted, sharing your dreams with others, or simply being a part of a discussion group and learning more about dreams, please visit my website at www.dreamsinterpret.com. Try it out for free.

Written by : Lisa M. Kohut

Is King Solomon Going To Heaven

Five Ways to Stay Motivated and Achieve Your Goals

Are you having one of those days when nothing seems to go right? Is every task you try to do harder than you thought it would be, and do you seem to encounter problem after problem along the way? We all have stressful times during our lives when everything seems to be going wrong, but it's crucial to stay positive as giving in will usually make the situation worse. Here are five ways to stay motivated and achieve your dreams:

1. Think less and act more

Stop putting off that difficult job because you're worried it will be too much for you, or you won't be able to do it. The more you worry about something you have to do, the less you will want to do it, so just making yourself get started is one of the best ways to stay motivated. You may have all sorts of excuses for mot doing something, but once you make a start you'll feel so much more motivated to continue.

2. Plan your time and stick to the plan

Having a large task ahead of you, or a big project to complete, can be very daunting, and without a clear view of how much you have to do and when you are going to do it, it can be easy to get sidetracked and put things off until the last minute.

If you have a large project at work, set aside two hours at the same time each day to work on that particular job. Be clear about which tasks you want to complete during that two hours. If you are trying to get fit or lose weight, decide on two evenings a week when you are going to do an exercise class, or go to the gym, and stick to that.

3. Set yourself targets and treat yourself when you reach them

One of the easiest ways to stay motivated is to set yourself achievable targets. If you are setting up your own business, saying that you want to be earning $40k in five years time is a far away target. Break that five years down into periods of six months and decide how much you aim to be earning in each six month period, building up to the five years.

When you reach your targets, you will feel a great sense of achievement, and if you don't quite make it you can evaluate where you could improve to make sure you are on track for the next six months.

4. Mix things up a little

Boredom with the same routine can easily cause us to become unmotivated, so if you are feeling that you need a change then make one. If you are tired of going to the gym, start running in the park instead. If you always work in your home office, try relocating to the deck for a few hours. Even small changes in your routine can be great ways to stay motivated.

5. Make time to relax and avoid burnout

Many people go head on into a project or business venture, and give it all their time and energy, only to collapse with exhaustion after six months and give it all up. One of the most important ways to stay motivated is to take time out to rest and enjoy yourself. Step back and appreciate what you have achieved, make time for a hobby, and spend a few hours with friends and family.

Perhaps some days you have planned to work, but you wake up feeling totally unmotivated. Don't take a whole day off as this will set a precedent, but it's ok to reduce the amount of work you do. Maybe decide just to work until lunchtime and take the afternoon off, but make sure you accomplish something tangible in the morning that you can be proud of to keep you motivated.

Wondering how do you change yourself? Join us now! Improve your self confidence and learn ways to love yourself. Sign up for your free course now at Rediscovery Women.

Cookie Thief

Book Review - The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide

The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide: Essential Skills for Living Well in an Overstimulating World

By Ted Zeff, Ph. D.

Copyright 2004 Published by New Harbinger Publications

Get ready for many suggestions and alternatives to life as usual when you read this book! Liberally sprinkled with real-life examples, you get to see how other HSPs like you have adjusted factors in their lives to suit them.

So many suggestions makes this a valuable book and somewhat overwhelming at the same time. Even with the author's own words encouraging you to take it slow and adopt a few things at a time, it holds the possibility of stopping a HSP in their tracks. You might want to read this one slowly, working on chapters with their suggestions one at a time.

What's very valuable about Zeff's perspective is his no-nonsense look at what really has to happen to be a happy HSP. He deals directly with the inner journey that is so important to reshaping life. He asks you to get clear on your goals, whether living the way you are now is either helping or harming you, how the impact of low self-esteem and not loving yourself affects you and how to constructively look at your beliefs to change your habits. He even gives a healthy six-month time frame to cement a new habit -- the longest I've ever heard quoted.

Valuable topics include:

• Coping with time pressure
• Calming your senses
• Finding agreeable foods
• Sensible exercise (at about 50% of your capacity, which is great for those of us who hate sweating)
• Getting external support while you are changing habits
• Thinking ahead to prepare in advance
• Learning to be more in control and other attitude adjustments
• The importance of routine and pacing your activity
• Nurturing your sensitive soul
• Finding health practitioners and healers

While highly instructive, Zeff's writing 'can be somewhat annoying. He is very repetitive in his points. For example, food choices, television and yoga seem to come up in every chapter. Additionally, his choice of words can appear somewhat judgmental in how he labels society and cultural norms. Still, I find some assurance in this as I know it was written by someone who is highly sensitive.

You may have heard or read some of this advice before cracking the cover of this volume. It is still good reading because perhaps for the first time, you are getting from someone who shares your sensitivity. That slight twist of perspective shows you how to take what the rest of the world does and modify it for your own peace of mind and body. That's a valuable skill to hone!

Then, there are areas included here that you might never have considered as alternatives otherwise, like Ayurveda. Exploring these choices can lead you in new directions and benefit you at the same time.

With each chapter ending with lists that recap the valuable points, you can easily morph this book into a refresher guide that keeps you in tune with your own nature. Read a list each day and you will keep valuable choices on the top of your mind. How much easier could it be to tune up your life?

Sarah Dolliver is the Founder of InnerVantage, the online community for inner-directed individuals (those who focus inward to restore). Her vision is to remove the stigma from being introverted or highly sensitive (HSP) to allow these individuals to lead rewarding lives that bring distinct contributions to the world. She educates, inspires and empowers them to use their gifts, talents and strengths as the basis from which they approach life.

Subscribe to the Awakening Your InnerVantage newsletter or get other free resources at http://www.InnerVantage.com

Sarah holds a Bachelor of Science in Management (Bentley College, Waltham, MA) and is a graduate of Coach U and The Graduate School of Coaching from CoachVille.

Game Of Life And How To Play

Believing in God Doesn't Make You Right - Compassion and Love

I was talking to a Muslim man who lives in another country through e-mail and we have been having a very pleasant conversation about why we believe, what we believe. This man seems very caring and someone I can actually have a educated conversation with. Some people that believe in their religion so strongly, are hard to communicate with and often start yelling and screaming at me. These conversations and very abruptly and sometimes painfully.

If believing in God makes you right and everything in your religious texts is true, then the least you could do is back it up with some factual information. Factual information is the key to proving any theory or belief. In a court of law, you have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt,... but if my life's at stake here, this really doesn't apply. I won't bet my life on reasonable doubt, but only hard scientific facts and sometimes this doesn't even apply.

Sometimes scientific facts can be proven wrong over time.

Let's say for an instance, that we take the Bible into a court of law and are going to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that one verse is true from this book. "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." Now that we have our Bible verse, let's just say for the record, that our hypothetical court case was proven to be true, beyond a reasonable doubt. In other words this is now a factual statement.

Just because it's a factual statement based on something that was proven beyond a reasonable doubt doesn't really make it a truth. When someone tells you, for example your parents or a teacher, that something is true (factual information) and you start spreading this rumor as a truth, because you believe these people, without any evidence for factual information, you're spreading a rumor. If these rumors were to be spread for about 2000 years, we come up with a factual belief not a scientific fact.

Nobody wants to hear that their religious text don't make sense to an open-minded person, even beyond a reasonable doubt. The belief that God created the earth isn't a fact, but if enough people say it is, then in their minds it becomes a truth. This doesn't make them right but often makes them feel comfortable.

Life Changing Books

You are free to copy this article to your site as long as you include the following resource information with an active link to my site:

Greg Vanden Berge is a published author, internet marketing expert, motivational inspiration to millions of people all over the world and is sharing some of his wisdom with experts in the fields of writing,marketing, and personal development. Check out one of his recommended books, You Can Have It All

Visualization And Affirmations

You Were Born Into Your Religious Thinking

Most of us have been exposed to at least one religion while we were being raised by our parents. I was raised a Christian and lived in a Christian community. Like most Muslims and Hindus, we never had a choice, about which religion we wanted to belong to. Our upbringing determined our future religious beliefs. No matter how good or bad our childhood was, our parents justified their behaviors and we accepted these and will probably pass them down to our children.

I was wondering, what if you took the strongest Christian in this country and put them into a Tibetan monastery, shortly after they were born. Instead of growing up in a Christian community and gathering strength through other Christians, this person would now be exposed to Buddhism.

What do you think would happen now? Do you think that God would intervene and somehow bring him back to the United States or put him in a different Christian community, to be raised as a Christian, instead of a Buddhist? What God intervening and put an end to this nightmare? Do you think that the Christian would now be a Buddhist follower?

We are all products of our environment, whether we like it or not. How you were raised, who you hung around with, the people you admired and of course your parents have all had a certain impact on your life. Believe it or not, your religious views are from your childhood. Now there is a certain exception, those who switch religions, but this is extremely rare.

However, there are people who seem to be waking up from this fog of reality. As the Internet becomes more popular and easier to access, people can often visit other countries from the comfort of their home, through the World Wide Web. The more we are exposed to different points of view and other religions, the more real our world becomes.

The conclusion to this story is, there's a very good chance, by switching a child at birth, their beliefs would be entirely different.

Life Changing Books

You are free to copy this article to your site as long as you include the following resource information with an active link to my site:

Greg Vanden Berge is a published author, internet marketing expert, motivational inspiration to millions of people all over the world and is sharing some of his wisdom with experts in the fields of writing,marketing, and personal development.

Find out a little bit more about Your Religious Freedom.

Spiritual Benefits

The Aging of Relationships

"Yes, I will marry you.....and they rode off into the sunset and lived happily ever after." If only it were that simple. Most of us have visions of our relationships turning out this way, but that is often not the case. Somewhere between the "I do" and "happily ever after" problems arise. Over half of all marriages end in divorce. Of those marriages that stay together, a large percentage are not necessarily happy. What happens? Why do the majority of couples find it so difficult to stay together and remain happy? Just as individuals go through identifiable stages (infancy, childhood, adulthood, old age) so to do relationships pass through distinguishable stages. There are many different ways to name the stages of relationship. We prefer to use the following three stages: Romantic Love (also known as the honeymoon stage), the Power Struggle Stage, and Mature Love.

Many people are familiar with the romantic stage. This is where our lover is in our thoughts 24 hours a day and every moment apart seems like an eternity. We live for the moments that we can be together. We are aglow with love. Everything in our life seems to go well. Colors are brighter, sounds more distinct, foods tastier. We find that we need less sleep. We can stay out with our loved one dancing the night away and still be up early the next morning, energized and ready to tackle the day ahead. If we have disagreements with our partner, we are willing to listen and even let them win. We are in a state of bliss. Then something happens. Instead of continuing along happily in this state, our eyes (and our hearts) begin to shift their focus and we enter Stage 2.

Stage 2 is the power struggle. Most of us are familiar with this stage as the majority of relationships stay here a long time. It is the stage in a relationship where two individuals try to live together harmoniously while still standing up for their individual differences. This is the time when we try to combine two different ways of being and two different backgrounds into one workable relationship. It includes but is not limited to such things as combining two distinct ways of handling money, keeping house, and juggling time schedules with regard to work, hobbies, family, recreation, etc. It involves consideration of differing personal habits and parenting skills, varying degrees of sexual desire, different ways of communication, and more. Is it any wonder that Stage 2 brings to light what we perceive as flaws in our partner's character? She/he charges too much on the credit cards, puts recreation before chores, does not understand why I need to spend so much time with my parents, or has little desire for sex. Differences are difficult to live with, especially when we assume that we are right and our partner is wrong. Our reasoning is: "I've done it this way all my life; can't you see that this is the way it should be done?" Learning how to collaborate with a partner while at the same time maintaining our individuality is the lesson of Stage 2. It can be a lengthy undertaking and usually makes or breaks the relationship.

Some relationships will never go beyond the second stage. The power struggles that occur during this time put the "relating" in relationships to the test. Just as a teenager learns how to become an individual and relate to a world outside himself and his family, an adult learns how to become a partner and be in a relationship. We learn how to get along with others at work, in our community, our state, and in our ever expanding world. Most of us learn skills to go out into the workplace and perform at a job, but few of us learn the skills to communicate and be in relationship. Basic relationship skills can go a long way to move us through this difficult stage of power struggle. Tools such as "I" messages, reflective listening, and a basic understanding of the differences between men and women are an important start. We feel it is equally important to have an awareness and understanding of two basic concepts about relationship: 1) that we alone are responsible for our feelings as well as our actions; and 2) relationships can be used to either heal or rewound the individuals in that relationship.

Marilyn: Having been in a twenty year relationship that I now recognize was one continual power struggle, I can appreciate the flow of my present relationship. Chuck and I both have an uncompromising desire to be in a relationship that works, a relationship that we can use as a path to our spiritual growth. Dr. Wayne Dyer in his tape series Freedom Through Higher Awareness comments: if you have a choice between being right and being kind, always choose to be kind." This is a choice Chuck and I are consciously trying to make in our relationship. When we disagree, we make every effort to deal with those conflicts in the moment. We try our best to go inside and discover how we feel and what our part was in the upset. This is not an easy task, especially since we have been programmed to value being right over being loving. We are used to looking outside of ourselves and blaming the other party. My automatic response to an upset used to be "why can't he understand this, it's so simple!" For the life of me, I could not understand why my partner was so dense; why he could not appreciate that this was the way it was for me. What a world of difference it makes when I can take responsibility for myself. All the blame and frustration disappears. I no longer feel that sinking feeling of disappointment and frustration that I used to feel.....that hole in pit in my stomach that asked the same questions over and over: "why am I in this relationship," and "is it as hopeless as I feel it is at this moment?" In contrast, when I can come from the understanding that I alone am responsible for the emotions that well up within me, then I can look inside and examine those feelings. This is usually easier said than done, especially when those emotions remind me of unpleasant memories about how I was treated in the past. I try very hard to share those feelings with Chuck. Sometimes, the only word I can get out is "ouch," but that is enough to get us started. This effort pays big dividends. It allows us to come to a resolution about our misunderstandings and prevents the build-up of resentments. It is also a path to healing the old wounds and building a new relationship based upon the trust of self and each other.

Chuck: The difference between my relationship with Marilyn and my previous relationships is my willingness to look at what parts I play in our upsets. It wasn't long ago that I felt I was right during most of my arguments with women. I can even remember the times that I knew I wasn't right but still couldn't give in. This power struggle was a pattern I had followed for over 30 years and I don't really know how it started. It has been a slow progression of small realizations that has led me to the point where my relationship is usually more important than my being right. Notice I said usually. There are still times when I know I'm not right or realize that I am hurting Marilyn and our relationship by staying mad, but cannot break out of the old pattern. Fortunately these times are diminishing.

How did I begin on my road to recovery? It began with very intelligent women calmly questioning me about my reasons for staying angry. They wanted to understand what kind of benefits or rewards I received for this behavior. Even when they questioned me during a fight, it was done in such a way that I felt their concern. It was clear that they truly wanted to understand what was happening within me. There was no blaming or ill will.

This process led me to begin to question myself. I went to therapy. I learned techniques I could use during a fight such as active listening, taking responsibility by using "I" statements, fair fighting rules, active listening and more. Finally I decided that I wanted to have a GREAT relationship. Now I work on trying to let go of my need to be right and consciously make the choice to be loving. Believe me, it takes a constant effort within the relationship to maintain that awareness, but it is worth it.....and so is Marilyn!

Marilyn and Chuck: The final stage of relationship is mature love. We have traveled the long road of power struggles to get here and learned what we need to learn from that path. We have completed a 180 degree turn, back to the peace and harmony that we felt with our partner when we first met. Our heart (and mind) has shifted away from finding fault and instead is focused on the specialness of our partner.....the uniqueness that attracted us to them in the first place. We have come full circle. We started out in the Romantic Stage seeing only the good, went through the Power Struggle Stage seeing mostly the negative, and now we are able to hold both. This is an expansive state. It is at this time that we make the conscious choice to put our relationship first and give up the need to always be right. This does not mean that we become less of an individual. It is at this stage that we become comfortable with who we are as individuals so that we no longer feel that we are losing a part of ourselves or our needs in order to have our relationships flow smoothly. In reality, we become more fully alive as we have expanded within ourselves to accept both the positive and the negative in another person.

Many of us have had the privilege of experiencing the rare couple who just seem to flow together. Their love and appreciation for one another glows from their very being. They fit together and feel right and everyone can see it. There is a calm and radiance about them that makes others want to be in their presence. This state of being did not happen over night. This couple has done a lot of work to get where they are. There is a deep level of commitment and understanding between them. For us, knowing that this depth of relationship exists gives us hope for our own relationship. When the power struggles seem overwhelming, we let the vision of this couple give us the strength to stay on our path and just let go. It is our belief that it is within all of us to have this type of relationship. It is a merely matter of choice.

Copyright 2001 the Relationship Specialists, Inc. All rights reserved.

Great relationships don't happen by accident. Learn the secrets to having successful one. Marilyn Hough and Chuck Schmitt, the Relationship Specialists, are licensed Marriage and Family therapists in the Portland, Oregon area. Visit their website at http://www.relationshipspecialists.com for tools and tips on how to improve your relationships. You can also sign up for free bi-monthly relationship hints.

Four Sure-Fire Ways to NOT Achieve Your New Year's Resolutions

Most people tend to give up on making New Year's Resolution simply because they claim they do not work. Below are some sure ways to totally sink your New Year's Resolutions (if you have made any).

1. Create a Total Lack Of Clarity in What You Want

Just make statements such as "I want to be more successful", "I want more customers" or even "I want more money". Unsuccessful people tend to make generalized statements about what they want. One big problem is that they will never know whether they have reached it or not. Successful People tend to be very specific in what they want- "Success to me means that I want to get on track to exercising regularly 3 times a week on every Monday, Wednesday and Friday night at 9pm" or "I want to see my customer base increase 8% this year". They tend to print many copies of their resolutions and pint them up in areas most visible. This goes with the saying, "Out of sight, out of mind."

2. Create Unrealistic Expectations With No Milestone Planning

One typical example is a weight lost expectation: I want to lose 13.2 pounds (or 6 kg) this quarter. Or another: I want to increase my income by 5 times. They do so without doing anything different from last year. If you want to increase your income by 5-fold, what you are currently doing has to change and starting creating new strategies for it. Creating milestones are also important in helping you keep track where you are in your goal. Whole year goals should be mixed with quarterly goals so that you know where you are going and can celebrate when you achieve them along the way. Celebration is an important aspect of getting results.

3. Do Not Come Up With A Plan To Achieve It

Dreams are great, and most of the time the first thing to achieve your dreams is to wake up! Unsuccessful people tend to just WANT things or results. They may not want to put in a plan to specify how they intend to achieve results. As the saying goes, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Successful people usually have a plan (may not be the perfect plan) that will ensure that they will draw closer to the desired results. They know that plans can change according to the situations and remain flexible.

4. They Do Not Share Their Intentions With Other People

From my experience, most people believe that we should just keep our resolutions quiet and ensure that others do not know about it. This is so that when one fails, no one will know. However, if you intend to achieve it, shout it out and ensure that your best friends, colleagues or even (gasp!) family members know about it. When you put yourself on the line, you tend to achieve it. This is because there are people around you reminding you of what you have said!

So... what are you waiting for? Can you share with me your plans?

Kenneth is the Principle Trainer of Deep Impact and has spoken to thousands of clients on Mindset and Attitudes shift as well as Building Teams. You can get your free report of "7 Transformational Secrets to Creating a Dynamic and Cohesive Team in your workplace" from http://www.DeepImpactOnline.com/blog

Five Things You Should Know

Book Review - "7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens"

I just finished reading "7 habits of highly effective teens," by Sean Covey. This book is written by the son of the famous author of "7 habits of highly effective people," Stephen Covey. The author attempts to shed light on some issues that teens face and how they can best overcome them. As the CEO of a teen jobs website, I read dozens of teen related books each week. In my opinion, this is one of the most engaging and entertaining teen related book I have ever read.

This book will provide meaningful content for teens, such as advice for improving their self image, how to build friendships and how to resist peer pressure. What I like most about the book is the way the ideas are presented and the format. The author uses a lot of graphics, cartons lists, quotes and other elements to really hook the reader and compel them to keep reading. Another great part about the book is the real life examples that the author writes about. There are real stories of teens that have been faced with huge obstacle and the incredible stories about how they overcame adversity. This part of the book was very inspiring to me.

The one criticism that I have is the fact a lot of the tips and suggestions are quite obvious and really basic common sense. I would have liked to see more of an emphasis on the real teen stories, as I think a book can be written on that topic alone.

In closing, I highly recommend this book to teens and parents of teens.

Dan Keller is the CEO of the popular Teen Jobs site and runs a Teen Forums site as well.

Spiritual Impact Of Disney

Kabbalah and Lucky Eyes For a Better Life

You want to be successful in life? Itching to have a balanced lifestyle and want lady luck to be at your side all the time? Then if you want to have all these under your belt, then you might want consider delving into the truth about Kabbalah and equip yourself with Lucky Eyes while you're busy with your daily lifestyle.

Understanding Kabbalah

If you think that Kabbalah is some occultic belief, then think again. Kabbalah is one of the oldest religions in the planet and many have enjoyed the benefits of its teachings to lead a successful life under the law of God.

Kabbalah originated with the Jews. It is believed that there is only one God that all things under heaven and earth stem. God is not defined as a spirit, a soul, or a living being. Simply, God is God and governs all.

The teachings of Kabbalah that God created man with infinite possibilities. They have the potential to reach the peak of their success by following the positive virtues taught by the religion. If one closely follows its teachings, then they are on their way to success quick and easy.

But with every religion, there are also factors that can bring down a person's sojourn to success. The Evil Eye, as with any other religion, is a source of misfortune and chaos. The penetrating gaze filled with malice and hate can disturb the harmony of a man's mind, body, and soul -- shaping his or destiny down the path of failure. The only way to counter this is to wear lucky Eyes.

What Is Lucky Eyes?

Lucky Eyes is the total opposite of the Evil Eye. If the latter gives off negative energy to harm a person's destiny, then Lucky Eyes absorbs these evil emanations to protect the person wearing them.

These lucky charms are symbolized with an eye in the middle. They can be worn as a earring, necklace, bracelet, or a ring. Whatever their shape may be, or material used for its make, Lucky Eyes will absorb any negative energies going your way and make sure that only positive forces exists around you to keep you rooted on your path to success.

Wearing Lucky Eyes

We can never determine who is giving off the Evil Eye. It can be your boss, your work mates, or even your friend. This gives the Evil Eye the advantage over the unsuspecting victim -- polluting them with negative energies to bring body and spirit to an all time low.

Wearing Lucky Eyes wherever you go renders this advantage of the Evil Eye useless. You can stay protected during work or play when you're out of the safety of your own home. You can even see Hollywood superstars and millionaires wear them for protection.

http://www.luckyeyesinc.com/lucky_eyes.php -- Lucky Eyes - Kabbalah

Vanessa A. Doctor from Jump2Top - SEO Company

Cookie Thief

The Aging of Relationships

"Yes, I will marry you.....and they rode off into the sunset and lived happily ever after." If only it were that simple. Most of us have visions of our relationships turning out this way, but that is often not the case. Somewhere between the "I do" and "happily ever after" problems arise. Over half of all marriages end in divorce. Of those marriages that stay together, a large percentage are not necessarily happy. What happens? Why do the majority of couples find it so difficult to stay together and remain happy? Just as individuals go through identifiable stages (infancy, childhood, adulthood, old age) so to do relationships pass through distinguishable stages. There are many different ways to name the stages of relationship. We prefer to use the following three stages: Romantic Love (also known as the honeymoon stage), the Power Struggle Stage, and Mature Love.

Many people are familiar with the romantic stage. This is where our lover is in our thoughts 24 hours a day and every moment apart seems like an eternity. We live for the moments that we can be together. We are aglow with love. Everything in our life seems to go well. Colors are brighter, sounds more distinct, foods tastier. We find that we need less sleep. We can stay out with our loved one dancing the night away and still be up early the next morning, energized and ready to tackle the day ahead. If we have disagreements with our partner, we are willing to listen and even let them win. We are in a state of bliss. Then something happens. Instead of continuing along happily in this state, our eyes (and our hearts) begin to shift their focus and we enter Stage 2.

Stage 2 is the power struggle. Most of us are familiar with this stage as the majority of relationships stay here a long time. It is the stage in a relationship where two individuals try to live together harmoniously while still standing up for their individual differences. This is the time when we try to combine two different ways of being and two different backgrounds into one workable relationship. It includes but is not limited to such things as combining two distinct ways of handling money, keeping house, and juggling time schedules with regard to work, hobbies, family, recreation, etc. It involves consideration of differing personal habits and parenting skills, varying degrees of sexual desire, different ways of communication, and more. Is it any wonder that Stage 2 brings to light what we perceive as flaws in our partner's character? She/he charges too much on the credit cards, puts recreation before chores, does not understand why I need to spend so much time with my parents, or has little desire for sex. Differences are difficult to live with, especially when we assume that we are right and our partner is wrong. Our reasoning is: "I've done it this way all my life; can't you see that this is the way it should be done?" Learning how to collaborate with a partner while at the same time maintaining our individuality is the lesson of Stage 2. It can be a lengthy undertaking and usually makes or breaks the relationship.

Some relationships will never go beyond the second stage. The power struggles that occur during this time put the "relating" in relationships to the test. Just as a teenager learns how to become an individual and relate to a world outside himself and his family, an adult learns how to become a partner and be in a relationship. We learn how to get along with others at work, in our community, our state, and in our ever expanding world. Most of us learn skills to go out into the workplace and perform at a job, but few of us learn the skills to communicate and be in relationship. Basic relationship skills can go a long way to move us through this difficult stage of power struggle. Tools such as "I" messages, reflective listening, and a basic understanding of the differences between men and women are an important start. We feel it is equally important to have an awareness and understanding of two basic concepts about relationship: 1) that we alone are responsible for our feelings as well as our actions; and 2) relationships can be used to either heal or rewound the individuals in that relationship.

Marilyn: Having been in a twenty year relationship that I now recognize was one continual power struggle, I can appreciate the flow of my present relationship. Chuck and I both have an uncompromising desire to be in a relationship that works, a relationship that we can use as a path to our spiritual growth. Dr. Wayne Dyer in his tape series Freedom Through Higher Awareness comments: if you have a choice between being right and being kind, always choose to be kind." This is a choice Chuck and I are consciously trying to make in our relationship. When we disagree, we make every effort to deal with those conflicts in the moment. We try our best to go inside and discover how we feel and what our part was in the upset. This is not an easy task, especially since we have been programmed to value being right over being loving. We are used to looking outside of ourselves and blaming the other party. My automatic response to an upset used to be "why can't he understand this, it's so simple!" For the life of me, I could not understand why my partner was so dense; why he could not appreciate that this was the way it was for me. What a world of difference it makes when I can take responsibility for myself. All the blame and frustration disappears. I no longer feel that sinking feeling of disappointment and frustration that I used to feel.....that hole in pit in my stomach that asked the same questions over and over: "why am I in this relationship," and "is it as hopeless as I feel it is at this moment?" In contrast, when I can come from the understanding that I alone am responsible for the emotions that well up within me, then I can look inside and examine those feelings. This is usually easier said than done, especially when those emotions remind me of unpleasant memories about how I was treated in the past. I try very hard to share those feelings with Chuck. Sometimes, the only word I can get out is "ouch," but that is enough to get us started. This effort pays big dividends. It allows us to come to a resolution about our misunderstandings and prevents the build-up of resentments. It is also a path to healing the old wounds and building a new relationship based upon the trust of self and each other.

Chuck: The difference between my relationship with Marilyn and my previous relationships is my willingness to look at what parts I play in our upsets. It wasn't long ago that I felt I was right during most of my arguments with women. I can even remember the times that I knew I wasn't right but still couldn't give in. This power struggle was a pattern I had followed for over 30 years and I don't really know how it started. It has been a slow progression of small realizations that has led me to the point where my relationship is usually more important than my being right. Notice I said usually. There are still times when I know I'm not right or realize that I am hurting Marilyn and our relationship by staying mad, but cannot break out of the old pattern. Fortunately these times are diminishing.

How did I begin on my road to recovery? It began with very intelligent women calmly questioning me about my reasons for staying angry. They wanted to understand what kind of benefits or rewards I received for this behavior. Even when they questioned me during a fight, it was done in such a way that I felt their concern. It was clear that they truly wanted to understand what was happening within me. There was no blaming or ill will.

This process led me to begin to question myself. I went to therapy. I learned techniques I could use during a fight such as active listening, taking responsibility by using "I" statements, fair fighting rules, active listening and more. Finally I decided that I wanted to have a GREAT relationship. Now I work on trying to let go of my need to be right and consciously make the choice to be loving. Believe me, it takes a constant effort within the relationship to maintain that awareness, but it is worth it.....and so is Marilyn!

Marilyn and Chuck: The final stage of relationship is mature love. We have traveled the long road of power struggles to get here and learned what we need to learn from that path. We have completed a 180 degree turn, back to the peace and harmony that we felt with our partner when we first met. Our heart (and mind) has shifted away from finding fault and instead is focused on the specialness of our partner.....the uniqueness that attracted us to them in the first place. We have come full circle. We started out in the Romantic Stage seeing only the good, went through the Power Struggle Stage seeing mostly the negative, and now we are able to hold both. This is an expansive state. It is at this time that we make the conscious choice to put our relationship first and give up the need to always be right. This does not mean that we become less of an individual. It is at this stage that we become comfortable with who we are as individuals so that we no longer feel that we are losing a part of ourselves or our needs in order to have our relationships flow smoothly. In reality, we become more fully alive as we have expanded within ourselves to accept both the positive and the negative in another person.

Many of us have had the privilege of experiencing the rare couple who just seem to flow together. Their love and appreciation for one another glows from their very being. They fit together and feel right and everyone can see it. There is a calm and radiance about them that makes others want to be in their presence. This state of being did not happen over night. This couple has done a lot of work to get where they are. There is a deep level of commitment and understanding between them. For us, knowing that this depth of relationship exists gives us hope for our own relationship. When the power struggles seem overwhelming, we let the vision of this couple give us the strength to stay on our path and just let go. It is our belief that it is within all of us to have this type of relationship. It is a merely matter of choice.

Copyright 2001 the Relationship Specialists, Inc. All rights reserved.

Great relationships don't happen by accident. Learn the secrets to having successful one. Marilyn Hough and Chuck Schmitt, the Relationship Specialists, are licensed Marriage and Family therapists in the Portland, Oregon area. Visit their website at http://www.relationshipspecialists.com for tools and tips on how to improve your relationships. You can also sign up for free bi-monthly relationship hints.

Structuring Your 24 Hour Day

The Culture of Jesus - Part 2, the Divine (Spiritual) Culture

Part 1 was 'The Physical Culture of Jesus'.

Part 2 is 'The Divine Culture'.

In Part 1, the physical culture of Jesus helped us to understand "where Jesus was coming from" in an earthly sense. In this article, we will begin to explore "where Jesus came from", a very different perspective. Herein, we will begin to look at who Jesus really was. Each of us has our earthly roots, yet He had ascended from a culture far beyond what we could imagine, a divine culture that truly defined who this Master was and is to us.

Jesus only purpose on this earth was to reach out to us at our own level and tell us what His home not of this earth was like, and to invite us there by enabling us to become like Him, pure and cleansed in spirit, through His death and sacrifice for us. As we begin to learn about Jesus' divine culture, let's remember His physical culture. This enables us to better understand His words as we progress.

Some portions of this article are from a sermon preached some time ago by Ravi Zacharias, a christian converted about 30 years ago from Hinduism, based upon some of his personal knowledge and experiences.

Part 1 - Review of the Physical Culture

• Family Ties - Exceptionally strong in the East and Middle East cultures. The clan swallows up individuality, meaning that what is best for the family/family name far outweighs any personal needs.
• Social/Academic Status - Intellect is worshipped. Must be in the Top of their Class or very close to it, doing well is not good enough.
• The people in Jesus day had been looking for a Messiah, a King, someone to save them from their current "status" for generations. Had been prophesied to for 2,000 years.
• Then John the Baptist introduces this man called Jesus, from Nazareth (a city of low esteem, wrong side of the tracks), and the son of Joseph, a carpenter (low family professional status).
• These people were raised with sheep, and bloody sacrifices of their lambs.
• Jesus is introduced as the "Lamb of God".
• New thought is introduced that most understood the impact of, but few understood the real concept of... 'men sacrificing lambs (animals) to God was one thing, but now God sacrificing His Lamb (His Son) for men' was an entirely different concept.
• Andrew's question upon meeting this proclaimed Messiah, "Where do you live?" & the importance of that question in their culture for defining the social and political authority of a person.
• Jesus' reply "Come and see", the purpose being to begin showing Andrew and the other followers the spiritual home & authority that He came from, not the earthly home.
• Jesus' task was to lead them on a journey of thought, beyond the here and now, that would enable them to truly understand how He would deliver them according to the prophesies.
• Nathanael's response to Jesus - before meeting Him. His skepticism and cynicism with comments like, "Can anything good come from Nazareth?," and "Isn't He the son of Joseph the carpenter?"

Now - Part 2 - The Divine Culture

• Jesus' task was to introduce the eternal perspective of thought and heart that they had never had to consider with their earthly ways of sacrifice and traditional worship. He had to establish a personal responsibility for salvation within them and separate the family interest from the individual need to follow Him.
• Nathanael's response to Jesus upon meeting Him, and Jesus' response to Nathanael demonstrate this in the first chapter of John.

John 1:47-51: Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward Him, and said of him, "Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom is no deceit!" Nathanael said to Him, "How do You know me?" Jesus answered and said to him, "Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you." Nathanael answered and said to Him, "Rabbi, You are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!" Jesus answered and said to him, "Because I said to you, 'I saw you under the fig tree,' do you believe? You will see greater things than these." And He said to him, "Most assuredly, I say to you, hereafter you shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man."

Jesus had seen Nathanael when Nathanael didn't even know he was being watched. In one of David's psalms, David confessed that he could not flee from God's presence, for God knew him in his inmost being: Psalms 139:7-10 "Wherever I go, You are there." Nathanael had just realized the same truth. Jesus also knew that Nathanael didn't think very much of Nazareth. Recognizing what was in his heart, when Nathanael said "Rabbi, You are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!" Jesus challenged him and said "You believe because I told you I saw you under a fig tree. You shall see greater things than that... I tell you the truth, you shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man." John 1:50-51

Jesus, in short, said, "You are shocked because I revealed you to yourself? Wait until you see the full truth of who I am and where I come from!" He took Nathanael from explaining the lesser things to a destination of glorious insights. Jesus establishes a very personal knowledge of each of these who approach Him from their first sight of Him.

We just read about Nathaniel, and just before this, He has a similar encounter with Simon; John 1:41-42, He (Andrew) first found his own brother Simon, and said to him, "We have found the Messiah" (which is translated, the Christ). And he brought him to Jesus. Now when Jesus looked at him, He said, "You are Simon the son of Jonah. You shall be called Cephas" (which is translated, A Stone). Stop here for just a moment and note the parentage reference, "son of Jonah". The physical culture is always an important key point to remember when studying the Bible or the life of Jesus.

Back to the scripture, this is the same Simon that we see in Matthew 16:13-18, where it says: When Jesus came into the region of Caesarea Philippi, He asked His disciples, saying, "Who do men say that I, the Son of Man, am?" So they said, "Some say John the Baptist, some Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets." He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?" Simon Peter answered and said, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God." Jesus answered and said to him, "Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven. And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it." Note the parentage references again; "Son of the Living God", "Simon Bar-Jonah", "My Father who is in Heaven". There's a consistent reference to parentage & heritage throughout these scriptures.

Jesus used this worldly understanding of culture to lead the apostles to realize & understand His divine cultural roots. And now, blessed is Simon Peter for recognizing the true parentage of Jesus, for taking that journey of thought and faith to a place beyond the here and now, and seeing Jesus as God's Son, not Joseph the carpenter's son or Jesus of Nazareth.

Here in John the first chapter, we have the account of Simon first meeting Jesus and Jesus calls him Cephas, which means "stone"; then here in Matthew's account, in an event that happens later between Jesus and Simon, we see Jesus calling him Peter, meaning "rock", because of the confession that Simon, now Simon Peter, has so boldly proclaimed. The confession, which Jesus says is the rock upon which He will build His church, comes from Simon, whom He called Cephas , or "stone", when they first met. Do you see the divine connection here?

Jesus knew these men & the roles they would each have before they ever came to Him. Just like He knew Nathanael before he came to Jesus... and just like He knows us before we come to Him. This divine journey of thought that He took them on is something that He still beckons us to come on as well. Yet, as long as we continue to think with the physical limits of when & where & time that bind us like slaves on this earth, we will never be able to understand or submit to the limitless, eternal, boundless joy of freedom that is in Christ and in God.

To be like Christ; to teach others; to live according to God's will; to even understand our own salvation, we have to understand that our thinking MUST change to an eternal perspective and see things from Heaven's point of view, not the world's... "putting off the old man and putting on the new man" as we are told in Ephesians and Colossians. It is then, and ONLY then that can we prioritize our life, our goals, our work, and our purpose according to God's purpose for us as individuals, each with our own gifts to offer in His service. If we hope to ever attain happiness and cease pursuing it, we must understand and live by that eternal perspective. In the U.S., our constitution gives us the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness; and now globally, through God and our Savior, Jesus the Christ, we have the hope of attaining it.

I believe that Jesus came as a vision of our perceived earthly weakness in order for us to understand God's strength and power over all that we know in our limited minds. Anyone would have expected a great and glorious King on this earth to be socially & politically strong and have influential parents and live a high lifestyle, and even moreso in the eastern culture. We would expect Him to have the ability to get laws changed and be powerful enough to deliver them, because that's the way the world thinks. But He wanted us to think the way that God thinks, the eternal perspective; the "forever with Him" concept, instead of placing value among the things of this earth that will pass away. So, He came in a very unexpected way so that we could see God in Him, and know Him for who He really is, not for what He has or how He looks. Have you ever noticed that we are never given a detailed physical description of Jesus? He wanted us to see His heart, the heart of God, not a physical form.

It was through His earthly disadvantages that we are shown God's conquering advantages. By showing us how much He could do in God against what we thought were all odds, Jesus revealed to us how little we can do in ourselves, no matter how great we think we are. Through His strength to overcome every temptation, every evil, even death, was revealed the true level of our weaknesses and our true need of a Savior, a sacrifice that we could NEVER make.

Have you ever asked God, like Andrew did, "Where do you live?"... or cried out "Where are you?", only to discover that He lives within you, everywhere you go He is there just waiting for you to follow Him home? Have you ever asked, like Nathanael, "Can anything good come from this?", and then found out later that He knew you before you knew Him? Have you ever figured out that in all of your struggles, He was already shaping you into that person that you would have to become to serve him in the role that He already knew you would take?

Our culture perishes, this earthly, physical culture that we know, whether from the East or the West. The culture of the world is dying each and every day. It had a beginning, and it will have a definite end. There is time, and space, and motion... and all of these earthly-defined boundaries, yet, it all fades and decays with every passing minute. The reality you know right now is temporary. You sitting here right now, is just a blink of an eye... a mist... a vapor, then it's over and you're gone from this earth, never to return and no second chances. You are doing now all you will ever get to do on this earth. This may be your last minutes. Do you ever think about that? Do you live every day, every moment, like it is your last?

Our culture perishes, but, Jesus' home lasts forever. It is renewed with the glory of God's presence forever. There was no beginning, and therefore will have no end. There are no bounds, no limits of time, nor space, nor motion. It comes closer to being your only reality every second, and is certain to overcome & replace the reality that you know and understand right now, regardless of how hard you resist it or how rich or poor yuo are.

Whether you like it or not, whether you're ready or not... Eternity is coming. Death is coming, as a welcomed promotion if you're one of His faithful children in spiritual battle everyday, but either way, Death is coming to take you home. It's only a bad thing if you're not ready. Place your value, the things that matter to you, in God's house, and it will all be yours to claim and keep forever. Place your value anywhere else, and you will claim nothing... your whole life will be lost and wasted with nothing to show for it and no hope forever.

When you meet this Jesus that we have learned more about, which culture will He know that you place value in? Have you boldly proclaimed Him as God's Son, as his apostles and other believers did, no matter what the cost on this temporary earth, because your riches are stored eternally? Or have you continued to see Him as Jesus of Nazareth, son of Joseph, the carpenter, as His enemies did right up to His death? Are you thinking from His home, or from yours? While He is watching you now, even when you don't think about it, what does He see in you? As other people are watching you, even when you don't realize it, do they see Him in you?

Consider this last thought... In God's eyes, there is no staying neutral to avoid conflict. He says that either you love Him and despise Satan, or you love Satan and despise Him. You are either for Him or against Him... Against Him, you will die. For Him, you will live beyond anything you can possibly imagine. You cannot serve two masters. There is no such position as neutral. There is no such thing as an undercover Christian.

If you have an interest in the Bible, missions work, or religious matters, you will most likely enjoy and learn much from these sites: http://www.missionsworks.org You may also want to visit my blog: http://360.yahoo.com/brantdeth

The sites are designed to teach, but also to provide numerous resources on the Restoration Movement that took place in America's early history. There are several resources that you can access from the site, as well as some very basic biblical teaching that may enlighten you or others about just what the Bible tells us, without interjection of man's creeds or opinions.

I am also working on a book of my own that should provide some interest to a wider audience, whether believers or not. The book briefly addresses some of man's theories (Darwin, Uniformitarianism, Existentialism, and others), the age of our earth (and universe as a whole) by genealogical and secular historical perspectives, and other interesting aspects of our being.

At some point, though not ready yet, MissionsWorks.org will also provide an interactive living map of where missions works are being performed globally.

Any thoughts, comments, or feedback is always appreciated! What would you like to see me write about? Let me know! God Bless You!

Dr. D

Yoga - A Remedy For Worry

How could Yoga be a remedy for worry? Yoga teaches you to be completely, and consciously, aware of the present moment. The first time a friend of mine heard the words "consciously aware," he laughed because it was a pre-requisite for a potential date.

He did not understand the importance of pure, focused consciousness applied toward the present. At the same time, he was a prime example of one who lives in the past. He regretted his past mistakes, so much, that it had taken the joy out of his life.

Living in the past is much like focusing on the rear view mirror, when your car is going forward. Your life is going forward, even if you are focused on the past. If you are worried about the past, how can you help yourself today? The past is an encyclopedia of lessons filled with achievements and mistakes. Look at the past as a reference guide and learn from it, without agony.

Very often, people worry about the future. The future is not carved in stone, but we waste so much energy worrying about it. The only thing we can be guaranteed about the future is it will be uncertain. The last thing any of us need is to focus on the future with a fearful or pessimistic viewpoint.

Look at the news today. Economic news speculation could be summed up as: "The recession is here, the recession is there, the recession is everywhere, and it will last for years to come." Let's be honest, depending upon where you live, there has been an ongoing recession for some of us. On the other hand, the person currently experiencing prosperity cannot envision a house foreclosure.

Your point of view will not make a recession go away, but a collective point of view, which is optimistic, will cause an economic upswing. Just watch the stock market for ten minutes, and you can see collective optimism or pure panic at any given time. Sometimes, you see both mindsets on the floor of the stock market at the same time.

Now, let's see how Yoga can help us with daily worries. Focusing on your existence at this very moment is a basic concept of all forms of Yoga. Every Yogic technique teaches you to concentrate with full awareness. The emphasis of your practice is always positive.

Some people find the leap toward positive thinking to be their greatest challenge. Default negative thoughts may be caused by years of pessimism, frustration, and focusing on failure. Anyone can focus on negative thoughts, but it must be realized that this is a personal choice.

Yogic techniques, such as: Asana, pranayama, meditation, mantra, and deep relaxation, give you the strength to make a positive difference in your life and the lives of those who come into contact with you. When we leave memories behind, they should be filled with positive energy.

Copyright 2008 - Paul Jerard / Aura Publications

Paul Jerard, E-RYT 500, has written many books on the subject of Yoga. He is a co-owner and the Director of Yoga Teacher Training at: Aura Wellness Center, in Attleboro, MA.

http://www.aurawellnesscenter.com He has been a certified Master Yoga Teacher since 1995. To receive Free Yoga videos, Podcasts, e-Books, reports, and articles about Yoga, please visit: http://www.yoga-teacher-training.org/member-offer.html